When I was entering my freshman year of college I was just eighteen. I was moving across the country, and I hadn't ever lived away from my home in Ohio for more than a month.
I was nervous and excited at the same time. I knew that the friends I made would be important, and the first friend you make in your freshman year is usually your roommate. The way your friendship with your roommate ends up going is ultimately dependent on both of your personality types and fate itself.
However, I've compiled a list of some helpful tips to make sure you and your freshman college roommate end up having the best chance at becoming best friends, like my roommate and I did!
1. Don't try to predict your future roomie's personality before you meet them.
Before you get to college, whether you participate in the campus connection apps for freshman or not, you are bound to meet people online, or IRL who will be attending the same university and living in the same dorm as you. For me since I attended university so far away from home I met a lot of people online. I looked at other student's social media, and texted them to get to know my future peers. This was fun. It definitely helped me get in contact with my roommate. But ultimately, it's so hard to tell what people are going to be like until you truly spend a significant amount of time with them. Once you get to college you have a lot of time to form natural relationships with your peers, and your roommate, whoever you end up selecting. Whether you chose to go random or room with a friend that you've known previously, living in the same room with someone for nine months is not a situation that you can really prepare for. Even if you do know your future roomie has a dog named Josie, and her favorite store is Urban, and you think you are going to be absolute best friends, things happen and you just can't tell how you will click, roomie wise, until you are there. My roommate and I actually only FaceTimed once before we moved in, and really only texted a week before moving in. We hardly knew each other, and we became best friends.
2. Let your true personality show.
College is the time to sift through your personal layers, and find who you truly want to be. While you are on this personal journey it is important to find friends, who support and share some of these same goals as you. If you and your roomie have similar life and career goals that is great. That can really make the foundation for a great friendship. However, it's important that you be yourself when forming these friendships. You are probably going to be spending a fair amount of time with your roommate, whether you are good friends or not. If you want to have good friends, you want them to want to be friends with the real you.
3. Once you are in your dorm let your roomie know your values and rules.
Everyone has different standards for what they think is okay in a roommate situation. Some think it's okay to leave laundry all over the floor, or leave old food sit-out. Others think you have to vacuum every day and make your bed military style with towels folded in animal shapes. Some think it's okay to always have friends in and out of the room at all hours and others think you should not have friends in the room past 5 p.m. Some think it's okay to have their boyfriend spend every night in the room, and others disagree. My point is its OKAY to have different values and beliefs than your roommate. But initially you have to sit down with them, as awkward as it may be, and discuss what you think is okay, and what's not. You need to work out a plan to deal with what differences may arise in your lifestyles, and work it out.
4. Don't try to compare living with a roommate to living with a sibling.
I know for me going into college I had the idea that living with a roommate would be similar to living with my brother. Granted I never shared a room with my brother. But I had lived with my brother until he was 18, and moved out. Living with someone who is not a sibling is completely different. Living with family is very different than living with friends because your family knows you in a way that others don't. If you are in a bad mood, your family can most likely tell. If you are in the best mood of your life, your family can most likely tell. Your family understands, but your roommate may not and that's okay. They have not known you long enough to, especially in the first few months. This is why it's important to go into college understanding that you have to communicate how you are feeling with those around you. If you and your roommate do end up being friends, they could be one of your biggest support systems while you are away and that's great! However, you have to let them know what's on your mind! Your roomie can't read your mind like your family can. Eventually as you get closer, you and your roomie will be able to tell how each other are feeling, as with any friendship. However, start off by communicating how you feel, just because you are living in the same room as someone, it doesn't mean they can understand you if you don't make an effort to communicate.
5. If your friendship with your roommate doesn't end up working out, DON'T SWEAT IT.
I believe any situation is what you make it. If your friendship with your roommate doesn't end up working out that's OKAY! Just move forward, and enjoy the school year. Things happen, and life doesn't always end up how we want it to but that's okay. There are still so many new friends to make. You are bound to find an amazing group of friends, like I did. Don't put too much emphasize on forcing a relationship with your roomie, just let that friendship be what it may be. College is exciting, new and fun. Let it be all those things, and do not let one situation, if it goes bad, ruin the amazing experience that you could have otherwise.
6. If you do end up becoming besties with your roommate, be thankful!
College is hard. You definitely have to have a significant support system to succeed. If you are one of the lucky students, like me, who found a great friend in your roommate than be thankful. Be grateful that you found a great friend, and surround yourself with other great friends! Again, college is all about finding yourself. You will definitely make mistakes and have some of the best times of your life. Experiencing all these things is so much better when you have your best friends beside you!
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