Recently, in one of my graduate art therapy courses, we did an activity to learn and discuss visual language. Our instructor directed us to draw a picture that related to a time when we were very angry, a time when we were very sad, and a time when we were happy and joyful. As we examined our visual definitions of these emotions, one drawing hit deep and reminded me why I am in this profession and what I hope to achieve through my work. The drawing was of sadness; it was a small, dark mark on the white page. Our instructor described it as a sadness that is so deep, so prevalent that it is almost gone and soon it would become nothing. Like a black hole that once you enter you don’t come back out. This description brought tears to a few classmates’ eyes, and mine as well. Looking at that dark, blue, shrinking hole reminded me; I’ve been there. I’ve felt that. And that is why I am here.

The saying often goes those who can’t do teach. Well, I say, those who have felt, counsel. Because I have been to that place, and I know what it feels like to look at yourself in the mirror, crying, begging yourself to just hold on, begging your heart to stop hurting. I know what it feels like to want to let it all go, to not see the point, to get so low, you stop feeling at all. Because I’ve been there, I am able to reach that place alongside others and help pull them out. I can empathize with that pain, even though my client will not be aware of my past, I can show them that I understand and be there as they walk through it and out of it. Because I’ve been there, I can offer art as a means of therapeutic release, as it was for me. I can share what helped me through with others who are feeling what I have felt and help them through it too. Because I’ve been there, I am able to be an example that there is light at the end of the tunnel, there is hope, and it is worth it, they are worth it. Because I’ve been there, I can offer a way of expression when there are no words. Because I’ve been there, I can be there for those who are experiencing the similar struggle that I have, and help them process through it. Because I’ve been there, I can reach children and adolescents and facilitate a healthy self-image, and boost self-esteem and self-worth through the use of art expression.

Because I’ve been there, I am who I am today. I do not carry the pain of my past with me, although I use it as a springboard to launch me into what I will accomplish in the future. My past has brought me to develop a passion for helping those who are broken and hurting. It has given me the heart and drive to reach out to others and to share the healing and beneficial power of art therapy. Because I’ve been there, I have a great passion for my field of work and career path, and a love for what I will be doing in the future.

Because I’ve been there.

And there is a place no one should be, alone.

“Art is to console those who are broken by life.” ~ Vincent Van Gogh