Every girl has felt insecure, out of place, and not enough. We have all witnessed and experienced society's pressures of what it means to be beautiful.
Again and again, I hear my friends talk negatively about their looks. Scrolling through social media, they'll mumble that they wished they were skinner or curvier. And every time I would reassure them of how beautiful each of them are inside and out. I saw them for who they were, beyond their looks. But shortly after, I am reminded that my opinion doesn't matter. That all of our opinions don't matter, except for the critics who placed these never satisfying standards upon us.
We live in a world where young girls doubt their capabilities, intellect and independence. They believe stereotypes and assume that the only thing going for them are their looks. And if these girls don't have the looks, then they will waste their entire life searching for them. Spending countless hours trying on different clothes to cover up what they hate the most, spending their entire life savings on makeup to feel prettier, while continuing to starve themselves from their favorite foods because they fear the idea of gaining weight. But don't worry, the thoughts in their heads do not matter. It's all about what's on the outside, right?
No. Of course not. We all preach, "Mental Health Awareness" and say what's from the inside matters most. But do we practice what we preach? If we know millions of women around the world suffer from eating disorders, then why don't we help change the mentality and remove the beauty standards. Why continue feeding into societal ideals if we know it is only harming ourselves and the young girls around us.
Think about Beyoncé's song, Pretty Hurts. This song is a cry out for help. Each lyric written to spread awareness amongst this world wide epidemic. Listen to this song to receive a visual of how beauty is pain. Think about the message that young girls receive from the cosmetic industry, media, toys, and even the models in the magazines. Can we honestly say that when we look at these models, that we in vision ourselves? Do these models give an accurate, diverse representation of women?
It is time to embrace ALL body types. All mentalities. And even more, each other.
The first words we heard growing up were, "you're a pretty girl." Who knew this simple phrase would soon diminish the dreams of young girls. That this phrase we say over and over again, is what stops girls from imagining themselves as engineers, doctors, CEO'S, or flight pilots. Because, instead of acknowledging these girls for their character, we continue to judge them by their looks. As if their looks is all that matters. Simply limiting creative minds, to only focus on the reflection in the mirror.
At a young age, girls are taught what it means to be beautiful. Girls learn this false ideal from those close to them. They listen to their mom complain about wrinkles and watch their older sister apply pounds of makeup on before school. During play time, the young girls play with dolls that demonstrate a false image of beauty.
Let’s consider the doll that most of us had, if not hundreds of them. The doll who's body measurements are humanly impossible to achieve. Everyone, meet Barbie. It's no surprise that this beloved doll would set unrealistic goals for young girls. She had long skinny legs, perfect plastic smile, thin waist, and yet still managing to have curves. Who wouldn't want to look like her? Even with the recent changes of this doll, the mentality still continues. Barbie is just one example out of the hundreds of others who have created this negative mentality and false persona for young girls.
To hide this mentality, many of us have adjusted to covering up the "flaws" that our society tells us are ugly and undesirable. Today, many of us spend most of our time covering up these imperfections, that we end up covering up our soul. We lose sight of our personality, and become someone we are not. The idea of perfection, is what's contaminating our nation.
Hopelessly searching for perfection, we feed into the industry. The industry that profits from your insecurities. Simply planting a seed in your mind that there is something physically wrong with you. But no worries, because they hold the “cure.”
"Oh no you have acne all over your face, let me get you acne treatment for that."
"Black heads? No problem! Here are black head strips, but I promise they will come back so here’s another box."
"Oh, you wish you had blue eyes? Here we have colored contacts at a reasonable price!"
"Sick of your stretch marks and cellulite? Want breast or butt implants? Need a nose job? We got the fix! Plastic surgery is the answer for you. But no guarantees, it might not come out the way you wish."
IT NEVER ENDS.
Once you “fix” one thing, it’s onto the next point of focus. The seed they planted has now flourished into a forest of insecurities, anxiety, and pain. Let’s face it, in this society we will never be considered enough. We will spend endless money on these products and surgeries – forever making these companies richer, and our souls shallower. It’s our souls that need the surgery.
At the beginning of the song, Pretty Hurts, Beyoncé said her aspiration in life is to be happy. Are you happy?
After hours of waxing, plucking, surgeries, and more—are you satisfied? Will you ever be?
Beauty does not equal happiness and success. Because every girl knows that, plastic smiles can only take you so far. And that this idea of beauty is simply an illusion. That no matter how much weight you lose, surgeries you get, you will never be satisfied. It's the mentality that needs to change.
Burn down the forest of insecurities in your head, and plant a new seed. A seed of happiness. Give your seed the time it needs to grow and flourish. Feed your seed positivity, compassion, and love.
Every day, remind yourself of your worth. Remind yourself of your strengths, capabilities, and future. In vision yourself with endless possibilities. Do not limit yourself. Embrace your imperfections.
Know that you are loved. Loved because of your soul, not because of your looks.
