As a 20-year-old college student, it would be an absolute lie to say I have never felt pressure to obtain “the look”.
You know, “the look”.
Basically, “the look” resembles a girl with: long hair, perfectly tanned skin, big eyes, always having an upbeat ready-to-go personality, their wardrobe updated with the latest fashion trends, oh and most importantly; skinny. Whether you like it or not, we have all fallen victim to the ideology of “the look”. Obviously, we want to look good. I mean, we're all human here. But why should beauty only be defined in one way? More importantly, why do we as women, continuously buy into this idea of beauty knowing perfectly well it will lead us to feel emotionally and mentally empty? It is a never ending cycle.Modesty
It's unfortunate, but it is so rare to find women around a college campus practicing modesty. I mean I get it, we are taught that guys like to see skin and you want to feel attractive. I admit it, I had fallen into this thinking as well during my first semester away at college. Whenever I went out with my friends, I always felt like I needed to "dress to impress" or I would not have any fun. Honestly though, it was exhausting and it was not me. Dressing that way made me feel out of place.
Not until my third semester did I decide I was going to throw in the towel. I know who I am and I know what makes me feel good and I was not going to let a frat boy dictate that.
In college, there is this stigma attached to women who practice modesty. Many people assume the reason a girl "covers up" is because she is uncomfortable with her body. I just want to say once and for all that this is false. Personally, I am very comfortable with my body, I love who I am and the way I look. Just because I decide to ditch the v-neck shirt and the high waisted shorts does not make me insecure. Actually, I believe those who practice modesty are strong. We do not need to hide behind skimpy clothes to make ourselves feel worthy, we already know. Now, I am not saying everyone who dresses that way is insecure, I am just saying we need to stop shaming those who decide not to.
Authenticity
I'm going to be honest, this is my all time favorite value. Over the past two years, I have noticed there is a defined mold women in college are encouraged to form to. You probably already have a vision of it now; that crazy girl who goes out Thursday through Saturday, she's popular with the guys, has the cutest clothes at the party, but even though she goes out all of the time, she still manages to make it to all of her classes, oh and making a 3.5 GPA, of course.
Now, that sounds unrealistic right? Crazy enough, we have all at some point tried to be that person. I have seen so many women, including myself, try to obtain this image of the "perfect college girl". After a long trial of trying to be the ideal college girl, what happens is, we are left in a pool of self doubt and anger because we did not make the cut.
The hardest part about being in college is that everything is so confusing. We do not know who we are, what we want to do with our lives or if we are even doing the right things. All we want is something we are sure of. Finding ourselves, and figuring out who we are authentically are takes years. I bet 100 percent of you can say you are not even remotely the similar to person you were in High School.
For me, college has been a great place of realization. I have discovered my passion for hiking and my love of the outdoors. In addition, I came to terms with my weird and quirky personality and started to embrace it. My faith has become the strongest it has ever been and that is all because I decided to stop trying to be that "perfect college girl". When I stopped forcing myself to be someone I'm not, I found out who I truly am.
Self-Awareness
Now I know this may piggyback a bit off of the authenticity section above, but bear with me. Coming to terms with who you truly are is one of the best things that can happen to you. To me, it is very obvious when a girl is trying too hard and who is not being themselves. Most of the time, I notice this change in behavior when there are guys around.
Ladies, come on.
In a lot of instances I have been in, a girl will flip the switch right when a guy comes around. They will get energetic and crazy and try to be funny. A lot of the times, this humor leads to putting another down because they just have to make them laugh. Personally, I find this so annoying and a sign of immaturity and insecurity. Not only is it completely obvious to the women around you, it is obvious to the men around you too.
Ladies, just take a second and think to yourself, who are you? Are you true to yourself? Do you act the same way with your girl friends as you do with your guy friends? If the answer to any of these is no, promise yourself right now to never let that happen again. I am pretty sure the person you are is amazing, you do not need to be anyone else. Stay true to yourself and be self aware.
I hope some of my realization and ideas, in some way, sparked a flow of positivity within yourself. This idea of beauty does not have to stick around much longer. Push yourself and shock the world with your authenticity and inner beauty. Do not let social constructs bring you down, you rock.
