I turn the latch above my foggy window and slide the glass up, leaving me vulnerable to the bitterness of the outdoor air. I take a deep breath in and release it, hoping it takes my unstable emotions along with it, but unfortunately, they still linger on my chest and mind like the sun waiting for a cloud to move so it can once again shine down on the world below. I'm trying so hard to get out, but the inevitable truth hits me like a bullet to the heart: I can't escape from myself.

I climb through the window and feel the rough shingles scrape the undersides of my feet. The stars above me shine so magnificently that I feel something will never again be so breathtaking.

I close my eyes and breathe in the clean air, cleansing my lungs from the toxins the day had so carelessly left behind.

The enormity of the sky and space above me makes me feel small, and unimportant. but nothing out of the ordinary. I connect stars with my eyes into shapes and letters, each one leading my mind back to you. It's crazy to think that one person could have the audacity to dictate an individual to feel so insecure and powerless, but one, surprisingly enough, did not fail to do so. it's rather absurd if you ask me.

the wind continues to wisp around me, not letting me interfere with its normal routine of the night; weaving through trees, cooling the summer air, even if only for a short period of time until the sun rises again.

I begin to contemplate my options...Three automatically come to mind; I could stop and give up, leave this world behind as I carelessly drift among the stars above me, watching the world carry on without me, or I could keep going, painfully watching each day inch past me, or I could turn everything around myself, and not let others determine my life and emotions for me. But of course, I cannot fathom the most obvious decision in such a time of confusion. i decide for myself that I should start searching for beauty in simpler forms, and change my attitude and opinions I have towards life, and living in itself. Though I may loathe many things in life, I now know that such small predicaments are not worthy of my breath, my thoughts, and most importantly, my time. I am limited on this Earth, and I have a limited amount of nights that I will be able to sit and stare at simple beauty such as stars, as I am doing tonight, which I have wasted too many of those precious moments already. And I will begin to appreciate these nights, as these cretinous affairs become less and less important to my heart and more worthy matters become greatly important instead.

I watch as a shooting star zips across the sky, then bow my head to make a wish. I wish to embrace life as it comes, and let go of the lousy and sorrowful moments of living. I wish to treat life as this precious diamond that I will never again have the privilege to hold if I dare let it go. and lastly, I wish to distinguish myself apart from this world full of impostors, murderers(not only physically speaking), and pessimists. Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away... a number of which is not nearly as close to the exact number of times our chest rises and falls as we fulfill a daily, involuntary action that every human must endure.

I crawl back through the window into my warm bedroom, feeling relieved and enthralled by my thoughts, so enthralled in fact, that I had not noticed the amount of time I had spent whirling around in my thoughts on the roof. I know I cannot dwell on the past because all we have is the present and the future to come. and at the end of the day, all we have is who we are and who we will evolve to be.

I tangle into the sheets of my bed and grasp a pillow close to my chest, treating it as if it was my life at risk of slipping through my thin fingers. You greatly impacted me, whether it be for better or for worse, I'm not so sure. but as for now, my solitude is the only thing I am aware and in need of.

My solitude, my thoughts, and beauty in simpler forms.