Let's talk about being single, not the downfalls, but instead the beauty of being alone.

I know that when I had gotten out of former relationships I would wonder what was in store for me next. Was I making a mistake with my decisions, being too high maintenance, or going through a phase that I would later regret? In the end, I realized I was afraid of being alone. Not having someone to vent to, laugh with, spoil, enjoy dates, movie nights, cuddling, etc. I think everyone goes through the phase regardless if they ended their relationship or they were broken up with where they question if they made all the wrong moves prior to the point that they are at. Being single seems to be such an issue for many people I know, and for awhile it was a place where I worried I would be stuck in, never feeling content with anyone that pursued me. I remember praying for God to send me a sign, but instead, he sent peace of mind.

So many of us struggle with feeling as if they aren't good enough for a relationship or feel empty without someone. During the first time I felt this, I took time to pray and truly ask God what he wanted for me. He answered by filling my fear and worrying about happiness and contentment. I began to feel excited to read, write, workout, go to events, and do countless other things alone. I have an amazing friend group that I can always turn to, but I genuinely began to enjoy my alone time and myself.

I believe we should view the time of singleness as a gift from God. A time to focus on yourself and your relationship with Christ. If you open your heart to the paths that Christ is yearning to take you down, you will be lead to amazing opportunities. Not only can you find your worth, but you find your true strengths and weaknesses.

Basing your self-worth and happiness on a relationship will always lead you into heartbreak, whether it's hurting someone else or finding yourself hurt. After God pushed me into finding my true self, I noticed so many girls around me that still struggled with their own contentment and happiness while alone. So many beautiful, intelligent ladies that I knew struggled with insecurities and unhappiness stemming faulty relationships. Many times I found myself angry with friends who allowed themselves to be disrespected due to the fear of not having that companion. Unhealthy relationships stem from a lack of Christ, self-love, respect, and individuality.

Many insecurities that we are not happy within ourselves, stem out into our relationships, which causes a major lack of trust for our partner. My overall question is, how can we love, trust, respect, and truly enjoy someone if we cannot do that for ourselves? The lack of these qualities evolve into our relationships in a matter of time, and hurt follows.

Instead, if our focus is placed on Christ, goals, and passions then growth will follow. I encourage you to step out of your comfort zones to find joy in areas that may scare you. Take yourself out, and explore places that you find beauty in. Make bucket lists to do things you may have never had time for before or never thought you could take the extra steps to do. Challenge yourself to be involved, complete old tasks, and spoil yourself.I'm only encouraging you all to genuinely enjoy you before you allow someone to appreciate you.

I strongly believe that until you know yourself fully, you will never find yourself fully compatible with anyone. How can we let others love a version of ourselves if we aren't sure who we truly are? Love yourself and find confidence. Hold your standards high, don't be afraid of being "too picky." God knows what he wants for you, and he's continuously crafting you and your future partner into His image so don't ever believe there won't be that person that meets your expectations. In fact, we should all be praying that the next person you find yourself in a relationship with have held their standards so high that they wouldn't settle for anything but your perfection.

Many men and women have hardened their hearts to relationships due to their past, negative experiences. So many believe that either sex is just unable to fully be in functional, happy relationships that are not deceitful. However, is this just due to the fact that while we are alone we do not find that contentment in ourselves? So it seems so clear that these issues will be present in unhealthy relationships that we push ourselves into out of loneliness. Allow Christ to fill the void and you will never find yourself searching for someone to "complete" you.

Value yourself throughout your singleness, find your happiness, explore life, enjoy your friends,and realize that Christ has a plan for everyone. If being single is a time that scares you, switch up your mindset and have fun with yourself. This is your time to grow, express yourself, and find your balance. Be happy and beautiful in a time that others are unhappy during, and in the end I can only hope that you allow God to lead you to that person that inspires you to be the best version of yourself and helps to thrive in self-growth.