I'm a feminist, a yoga teacher and a positive, optimistic, annoyingly happy person. Yet, I am obsessed with The Weeknd. Everything about his music is dark, deep and heavy — full of references to empty sex, excessive drinking and drug use, self-destructive behavior and no desire for change. His music is numbing and thought-provoking at the same time. He's an enigmatic artist who embraces his flaws and makes no apologies for his inability to give a f*ck. His stare is empty on purpose, and his voice melodically sings to you about giving in to your darkness, with no desire to achieve superego. He’s lyrically complex, finding intricate ways to explain to an audience the collective numbness our generation often finds itself in. Despite the fact that we have nothing in common, I am entranced by him, his hair, his lyrics, his melodies, and his mystery.
With the release of "Beauty Behind the Madness" comes a musical evolution: a Taylor Swift "1989"-esque pop album, minus the happy lyrics, but chock-full of catchy hooks. As I waited, I was nervous that he would give into simplicity. After all, "Can’t Feel My Face" was lyrically simple and upbeat (that is for those who don’t know Tesfaye). XO fans waited anxiously hoping he would give us more. Yes, it was enjoyable and easy to sing along to with a beat that so obviously alluded to a musical period of Jackson greatness, but it was merely the single to make everyone fall in love with him. I devoured the album one track at a time and then as a whole, getting lost in the new era of The Weeknd.
1. "Real Life"
There's a strong and heavy musical opening with violins and a striking use of diverse instruments as he repeats, “Mama called me destructive / said it’d ruin me one day," throughout the song. Along with this opener, he introduces himself, telling us he’s not the type to fall in love. He mentions that falling in love has never been an option, and that he’s not interested in anything substantial as melancholy violins play, “That’s real life.”
2. "Losers"
The song starts with a piano mixed with eerie sounds in the background. A clapping beat creates a vibrant background for Tesfaye’s soothing voice. After the first verse, the music breaks down giving STS9 vibes and Labrinth takes over repeating the refrain, “Stupid’s next to I love you.” Yet again, Tesfaye reminds us that falling in love is a waste of time and that he’s lost, asking, "What can you show me that my heart don’t know already?”
3. "Tell Your Friends"
Tesfaye begins with, “We are not the same / I am too reckless," telling us he’s too far gone. The beat is old-timey, soft, chill and quite a departure from the first two tracks. It’s significantly more explicit with heavy references to the destructive lifestyle he leads. Although his lyrics are about still being the same “user,” it feels light and easy to digest. You want to sing along, and as you do, you realize the severity of what you’re singing. Tesfaye is telling us the money’s coming, his fame is rising, but he’s still the same druggie with no desire to fall in love or change his lifestyle.
4. "Often"
This song was released as a single way, way before the album, a follow up to "Kiss Land" and "Trilogy." Everybody used to caption their pictures on Instagram with the lyrics, “Ask me if I do this every day / I say often.” Here, he’s bragging like he’s almost proud of how empty his lifestyle is — the party every day, do the same thing over and over routine. However, the music feels synthetic, and his voice is like honey. So again, we find ourselves singing along, getting lost in the smoky lyrics and clouds in the air.
5. "The Hills"
This is another single off BBTM. Surprisingly, it’s even playing on the radio despite its explicit lyrics and song topic: “I only f*ck you when it’s half past five.” Tesfaye croons his lyrics, telling us he doesn’t do meaningful sex, meaningful relationships, meaningful anything. Just drugs and sex. And you can feel it in his voice when he says, “When I’m f*cked up, that’s the real me.” We sing along, escaping the reality of life, but perhaps the best part of the song is the breakdown in which he asks, “Who are you to judge?”
6. "Acquainted"
Most of us hardcore XO fans heard this before as "Girls Born in the '90s," which is what I was expecting on the album. Instead, we got something even more personal. Whereas, before, Tesfaye was saying, “Although they know, they not the only,” now he’s saying, “to say that we’re in love is dangerous / but girl I’m so glad we’re acquainted.” The beat is more synthetic, and now the refrain is, “baby, you’re no good." This is the shift in the album. Up until here, Tesfaye had been insistent on claiming that he had no interest in being in love. Nevertheless, now he’s starting to fall into something he doesn’t fully understand. “I want to find somebody that’s real,” Tesfaye sings. He realizes he wants more. It ends perfectly with a spoken rendition of the original lyrics from "Girls Born in the '90s." If I had to choose, "Acquainted" is perhaps my favorite song on the album.
7. "Can’t Feel My Face"
This is the song of the summer. Tesfaye tells us, “And I know she’ll be the death of me,” as a way of saying he’s in love, they’re in love. He’s given in. It's hard not to dance to the beat, and the lyrics are annoyingly catchy — pop at its finest. An ode to Michael Jackson, "Can't Feel My Face" is a mega hit. The radio stations play it at least once an hour so we can consume it over and over again. Everyone loves it because it’s simple and rhythmically magical. Is he talking about love, is he talking about drugs? Who cares.
8. "Shameless"
A dark twist and departure from "Can't Feel My Face," he asks the woman he's singing to, “Who’s gonna love you like me / who’s gonna touch you like me / who’s gonna f*ck you like me." She wants him to fix her, and he’s telling her that he’ll always be there for her. We begin to see the relationship is a co-dependent toxic mess that they’re mutually trapped in. The pace is slow, with a build, his voice almost pleading at times, telling her he’s never enough.
9. "In the Night"
"In the Night" is the "Billy Jean" of the album. The beat is '80s pop at its best, and it tricks you into not realizing that he’s talking about rape. "In the Night" tells the story of why the girl’s so messed up, and explains that “she was forced to be a woman.” She grew up messed up and never fully recovered. He’s entranced by her darkness. He wants to be there for her, he sees so much in her, and we begin to feel his pain and desire to be enough.
10. "As You Are"
An extension of "Acquainted"and "In the Night," in this song,he tells her that he accepts her as she is and hopes that she accepts him, too. He knows she’s going to break his heart, but he wants all of her: the broken, the good and the scars. He wants to take her pain and just be. The music is soft and as entrancing as the girl he describes. “I see the wonder in your eyes,” he tells her, and then admits that he’s going to break her heart, too. They’re both messed up, and they’re falling into each other, destroying each other while also building themselves up at the same time.
11. "Dark Times"
It starts off with Ed Sheeran is singing to us, and this is the moment I fall in love with Sheeran. His voice is somehow gritty yet feels like honey at the same time. Tesfaye and Sheeran tell us that, “This ain’t the right time for you to fall in love with me.” Tesfaye thinks the relationship is doomed; his darkness is too much for anything real as they both repeat, “Only my mother could love me for me.” Any chance of something healthy and happy and real is doomed. This the most soulful song in the set, and their voices blend beautifully, making for an unlikely pair that hits all the right notes.
12. "Prisoner"
Lana del Rey and Tesfaye are the ultimate drugged-out, spacey duo. They both have entered Hollywood and fallen deeper into themselves as they fell into the spotlight. Their voices are silky and far away. They both sing, “I’m a prisoner to my addictions,” and the motif of the album is repeated. Both of them are too far gone for real love, yet they’re too lost in each other already, addicted to the rush. Although musically it’s not necessarily my favorite, they make such a perfect duet that you can’t help but feel their addictions and frustrations.
13. "Angel"
"Angel" is the last song and my least favorite of the bunch. It sounds like an '80s tragic ballad - very "Amanda," but sadder. Here, Tesfaye is giving up on love by saying, “Only time will tell if we’re meant for this / and if we’re not / I hope you find somebody / I hope you find somebody to love.” It’s the most depressing song on the album. Obviously, the further in the album he goes, the more and more he lets go of any hopes of them being together because he’s too “desensitized.”
The album is brilliant, a painful love story of resisting the want to be vulnerable, giving into it, falling in love, and realizing it was too much for you after all. It’s a story, each song a chapter. In each chapter lies a story within itself. Despite the fact that he sings about never being able to fall in love, Tesfaye has captured an audience that has fallen in love with the idea of not being able to fall in love. We’ve fallen in love with the idea of The Weeknd, a cloud of smoke that leaves you simultaneously numb and wanting more. Now, I’ll patiently wait for my opportunity to stand at his show and gaze upon that empty stare, falling in love with the beauty behind the madness.
