Dear Friend,

I have seen you struggle, shed many tears, surround yourself with outer beauty, and end up defeated. Beauty is something everyone must discover. We aren’t born understanding the full concept of beauty; it is learned throughout life. This is such a difficult feat to conquer; some of us struggle our entire lives. But, please struggle no more. Beauty is innate in all of us. Do not waste your life feeling ugly or disgusting. Life is cherished and every second counts; we are complex individuals. I know you are self-conscious about your hands. Other people are self-conscious about their feet, personality, gender. Humans are always trying to mold themselves into something unlike their already natural, beautiful form.

You are young, but let’s move past that. There are two wise things to remember: everyone is beautiful in their own way, and beauty is subjective. Who is anyone to judge on another’s beauty? Someone’s imperfections may strengthen another’s perfections from the publics standards, but anyone can create beauty and denote what is beautiful. Why should we care about the public’s conceptions of beauty? It was not a democracy deciding upon the current beauty standards. You worry day in and day out about who represents you and your existence. Are your parents “cool,” is your new boyfriend social enough, how many friends do you have, do you often eat lunch alone? These are questions that constantly flow through your mind, changing every day when people change their clothes, act a certain way, or make certain decisions. Nobody can control anyone but themselves.

We all choose a different course of life that is appealing to us. Let go of trying to control others with your version of beauty. I love you, but holding others to your standard of beauty is selfish. This is something we all do, inadvertently. And it has to stop. Beauty is a powerful blessing that joins life -- it should not be a curse we place on one another. There is no right or wrong in the subjective nature of beauty until you allow it to control you. Your stubby, normal hands may be “weird” to your perspective, but to me they are fascinating. It shows the intricacies of life and how flexible and plastic our brains can function. Even with only five fingers and misshapen positions, you can play the piano and function amazingly in society. Your fingers are more beautiful than mine because they have overcome so many feats and still function as if it had five extra fingers.

This different view between you and me is something found in all of humanity. Beauty is not one distinct trend. Heck, the reason why there are so many clothes on the market is because each designer has a different take on beauty and fashion. Now struggle no more with finding your “beauty” from other people. Don’t look for what the media projects, but the inside. Look at your parents and realize they are special because they love you through thick and thin. Look at your boyfriend and love him because of the way he treats you. Watch for your quality of friends over quantity. And, take advantage of alone time. Beauty is found within and discovered when you decide what is beautiful, not anyone else.

Cheers