It has been said that the four years you spend in college are the best four years of your life. For most students, college is their first taste of unlimited freedom: you can eat, sleep, and drink (responsibly) whenever and however you want. When you attend college in your home state, Mom and Dad are far enough so you can be your own person, but close enough when you need them.
Those who have been brave enough to venture past their state borders know a completely different experience: you still have that unadulterated sense of freedom, but you have a set of struggles your in-state friends don’t. Your visits home are sparse, over-planned, and usually include a plane ticket. Depending on where you decide to attend school, you will probably experience a good dose of culture shock.
The idea of attending a school where you know absolutely no one sounds like one big adventure -- and it definitely is -- but there is no denying that there will be times when you question why you decided to do this to yourself. So what are you supposed to do when the out of state blues hit? How do you cope with knowing that you are alone on a huge campus hundreds of miles from home?
I am only a sophomore, so I don’t really have it all figured out. But when I start to feel homesick, these are the things I think about to keep the blues at bay.
Remember why you left:
If you put your home state in your rearview mirror, chances are you had a good reason to. Was your hometown getting too small for you to breathe in? Is your academic path more supported somewhere else? Tt isn’t easy to leave a place you have called home for a while, but when the feeling of being displaced hits you, it’s good to remember that there is a reason you are no longer there. You left home to grow, to be challenged. Even though it is easy to get FOMO seeing all of your high school friends hanging out on social media, you were lucky enough to get a completely clean slate. Take advantage of it. You are exactly where you need to be.
Stay in touch with hometown friends:
When I get homesick, it is usually not for the geographical aspects of my rinky-dink home state, it's for the people. If you were as lucky as I was growing up, you have a few close people who made your time there worthwhile. So make an effort to stay close with them. Even though you are all busy with school, work, and trying to be adults, take time out of your day to talk to one another. Skype. Write letters. Send lots and lots of ugly Snapchats. It is a rare thing to find friends you consider your home base. Keep these relationships healthy and these people will be in your life forever.
Be present:
Get involved. Decorate your dorm room. Go to class. You are where you are for a reason. Do not spend all of your time wishing you were somewhere else. The more time you spend working to make your new campus your home, the less homesick you will be. People might be a little different -- or a lot different -- from what you are used to. Even though it seems like you will never bond with anyone, remember that there are thousands of people at your new school. A few really good friends are in there.
Give new people chances:
Join a club, a study group, a Greek organization. Talk to people. Trust me, this is a lot easier in theory. Making friends in college is so much different than in high school, but the bonds will be so much stronger because you chose to make them. Investing your time in people you know little to nothing about is hard. However when you find the people that make you happy to be where you are, you will realize that it was so worth it.
Leaving home after eighteen years to attend a school where I did not know anyone has been a whirlwind of emotions. I cannot tell you that it will always be fun, or that you’ will always feel like you made the right choice. But one thing I can promise you is that even though you will have some bad days, your good days will always outnumber them. So hold on, be patient, and enjoy your adventure.
