If I could drill this in to every girl who feels worthless, who feels unloved and unwanted when they do not have a man, I would. Love yourself, because you are enough. Love yourself; love every little bit of you that makes you, you. Don't you dare depend on a man to make your life feel worthy again. Don't you dare think of yourself as anything less than extraordinary, as perfect. You don't need to be told by a person that you are beautiful, that you are sunshine, because, darling, you have always been. It's time to wipe the cobwebs from your eyes and for you to realize it yourself.
I bought a bracelet last week. You know those really popular Alex and Ani bracelets? Well, I fell to the trend and bought a couple. I came home and put the bracelets on, and one read, "You are my sunshine." A family member of mine looked confused. They asked if my ex and I got back together and he had bought in me the beautiful bracelet. Tears flooded my eyes, and I could barely get a word from my quivering lips, through the realization and through the pain, I answered, "No, I bought this bracelet because I need to realize that I am my own sun. I am my own light. I am my own sunshine." Every time I look at my wrist, through the scars and the pain of my past, I see that bracelet, and during the worst nights, I remember that I am my own sunshine, I am my own happiness and I do not need a man to feel worthy of myself and to love myself.
I want every girl to know and to hear me when I say it's OK to handle heartbreak poorly, no one wrote a handbook on how to handle such a pain, and never apologize for how you handle it, to anyone. How are we expected to apologize for such an agonizing pain? How are we expected to say sorry for fixing what someone else broke? In my opinion, they have no damn say in it. I handle heartbreak awfully; I blame my pain on him; I blame my tears and hurt on him when he doesn't deserve it. He never deserved the hurtful words, because I loved him more than I ever thought possible. But like I said, I handle heartbreak awfully. Or at least I used to.
You do not need a man to feel beautiful, you do not need a man to make you feel happy and you do not need a man to make you feel like you are good enough. In the famous words of Christina Yang, "He is very dreamy, but he is not the sun, you are." And you, my darling, you are worth the sun, the moon and the stars. One day this pain will fade; one day you will stand again; one day you will realize that you are your own sunshine.
Be the girl who smiles the biggest, who laughs the loudest, who loves herself the hardest. Be the girl people look at and wonder, "After everything she has been through how can she be that genuinely happy?" Be the girl who feels complete and loved and warm on her own. Be the girl who loves life the hardest, who forgets the word goodbye and who he will look at and think, "She finally gets it; she finally understands that she has always been beautiful; she has now spread her wings, and she is free." I have not written off the possibility of new love, I just know that my next love will be the most beautiful because I've learned to love myself first.
I am my own sunshine. So go ahead beautiful, be yours.
"She doesn't belong to anyone and I think that is the most divine thing about her. She's found love within herself and she's complete alone."
