This is something that I have learned during the past six months of my life. Someday, I might find myself a king that I can be happy with, but until then, I can be my own queen and be completely happy. I didn’t realize this overnight, mind you. I had a lot of tearful nights before I came to the realization that it’s OK to be alone for now.
If you’re constantly depending on a guy to do things for you, how will you ever learn to do them by yourself? All of my life, I have had a man there to help me out with things. At first, it was my grandpa. He would always do the building, the bug-killing, the jar-opening. Then, it was my boyfriend. He would open difficult windows, clean out the drain and make the phone calls. When I no longer had my grandpa nearby, and my boyfriend was, well, no longer my boyfriend, I had to step up and do these things by myself. It was scary. But, you know what? I figured it out.
Now, I can close any window I put my mind to, I can call and pay bills by myself, I can nail things to the wall, and I don’t need a man to open a jar for me. I needed to be left on my own before I realized that I could have been doing these things by myself all along. I thought I was incapable because I was never given the opportunity to make myself capable. It was liberating to find out that I really could do these things that I felt like I simply couldn’t do. You just have to step out of your comfort zone, even just a little bit. You'll find empowerment, and you won’t want to go back.
Before someone steps in, I’m not saying I will never want a man in my life again. I do want to find a man, to fall in love and get married someday. I’m just saying that until that happens, I'll be OK on my own. I can take care of myself for the time being, and I don’t need to be dependent on a man right now. Someday, I will meet someone and choose to be dependent on him. But, you know what? He will be dependent on me, too. We will be able to depend on each other.
Until that day comes, I am going to keep being my own queen and rule my own kingdom. It feels great to take care of yourself and work toward your independence. I think that every girl – no. I think that every woman should take some time for herself to realize what a queen she is. Every woman deserves to feel like a queen before she finds her king.
