"When in doubt, write it out" is a mantra that I use to write through complicated feelings. The ones of loneliness and emptiness, angetr and regret. Writing has become an invalubale tool to express my creativity as well as my life. My writing has taken the form of therapy for me, somehting that is easty to access. All you need is a quiet place, headphones (if you prefer), a pen and a notebook. The possibilites are endless. My friend, awoman close to my heart,, taught me how to write through my feelings and to helal myself from past traumas and now I'm here to share that knowledge with you.

1. Validation

You have the right to your feelings. They're yours and you don't have to explain them to anyone, they don't have to make sense. Rationality has no place in your journal, we are constantly asked to tame ourselves. To quiet the intensity of our emotions for others' comfort and that causes us to feel claustrophobic in our own bodies, feel your feelings. Start this portion of your journal with "I feel". "I feel angry at being abandoned", "I feel resentful toward my grandparents for hurting me", "I feel scared because of past traumas". And for all those who tell you to "get over it", just tell them:

2. Control

Now that you've accepted the validity of your own feelings you have to stand in your truth. Take up that space, whether it's traumatic or painful you have to experience those feelings and process your way through them. The seeds have been planted but you have to water them with attention and affection. This is where nurturing your inner child, teenager or young adult comes in. Those parts of your self have been hurt and they need to be healed. Child work can be five minutes out of the day to really appreciate your surroundings, drink a juice box, listen to your favorite bands to feed teen aged self and maybe take a night out to enjoy a book that helped you in your young adult phase. You are in control of these experiences and your writing will reflect that. Hold strong in your valid feelings and nurture the people within you, be confident in those feelings. Do whatever it takes to feel in control: that can be yoga, daily mantras, meditations- whatever.

You just need to know that you are the captain, the leader and show those experiences who's in charge!

3. Get to the Root

If you're like me, these experiences have taught you many things and those things may not be what you need to survive. You were so busy learning how to survive emotionally that you didn't wonder how to figure out the real world. This means controlling your finances, emotional eating/purging and how to live. You're tense, always ready for a new attack and deeply untrusting. You're used to living with just enough or doing just enough to get by because this is how you've survived in the past and it's woirked but led to a complex that youjust cna't shake. Here is where you chart your finances, chart out what is and isn't self care and what goes to savings. Basically, get yourself together. It's time to change, to grow and be who you were meant to be. You've been a chrysalis so long that you've forgotten you're a butterfly. Ground yourself in this phrase, understand that it is time to grow.

4.You Deserve To Live

SEriosuly, you do. Take a break from whatever is stressing you out. This blokcage is draining you and your energy, you're so obseesed with beiung unhaoppy with this ne aspect that your missing evertyhting else. Get rid of it. That means that friend that hurts you has got to go, their presence is not welcome. If your relationship is dead then your partner's gotta go too,these steps are painful but you have to breathe. Change is difficult but good.

And yes, the tears will come and the guilt will be there but it's time to let go of what no longer serves you. Give it some time and you'll feel like this:

5. How To Be Happy

I've written other articles on how to be happy like this one and this one so, suffice it to say, you have to choose yourself. Choose your health over depression and your happiness over mourning the loss of others who were just steps to your best self.

6. Who Are You?

Figure yourself out, romance yourself. Love your giggle, spend time with you. You always going to be with you for as long as you live so you may as well get to know and love who you are. You have given yourself permission to take up space, to be validated and in control, to grown and let go of the dead things It's time to start enjoying it! Connect to yourself and your spirituality, don't be afraid. Enjoy you and let yourself live.

7. I Choose You

Say it everyday to yourself in the mirror, "I choose you" and do it. Don't allow yourslef to be run over by people that only take, give to yourself. Take time for you, go at your own pace and stand in your truth. All the journaling that you've been doing has led you here. No you must jump wholly into this and choose you everyday so that you can say: