Spring Break is upon us ya’ll. So, I thought I’d try and make these long road trips a bit more entertaining by writing something you can read to your friends during that three-hour traffic delay. Whether you’re headed to the beach or to the mountains, one must always prepare for some good times, but let’s start with the bad! :)

Cons

Bad Music

If you are anything like me, then you can’t really stand listening to songs you don’t absolutely love. For the most part I can hang, unless it’s Luke Bryan, then I am very much out. I think he for sure pays someone to pinch his nose holes shut, which is totally fine, but like…not for twelve hours. Although we try very hard, us music freaks can’t hog the DJ privileges. Eventually, some brave soul will unplug our aux cord. Honestly, I am in complete shock when I realize that some people actually hate my music. Travelers, avoid this by hanging close to that top forties list or playing "Good Times" by CHIC.

Pee Pee Stops

Almost every car has that one friend with the bladder size of a new born lady bug. Don’t get me wrong, breaks are totally necessary, even therapeutic, but not every sixteen miles. As the driver, I think you can either choose to pee every single time we stop as a group, or waddle into CVS and buy some adult diapers. Frustration occurs when I pull out of Buffalo Wild Wings and 27 minutes later I get a text saying, “Can we pull over really quick? Haha I forgot to go at BWW! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯”

Haha no. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Zero Personal Space

Turns out there was a reason I drove the entire trip. Besides the fact that I thoroughly enjoy driving, I also love my space. I like leaning my chair back and spreading my arms out and doing everything else that you cannot do when crammed in the back of a car for twelve hours. To those mature people who volunteer for the middle seat, God bless you.

Toots

Haha! Goooooood. Now I have to roll down my window, which makes my ears feel like I'm scuba diving at a depth of seventy six miles. That doesn't feel good.

The Chatter Box

I understand that I can be annoying, but wait! I promise I will eventually say something that you will appreciate.

Nah, you really won’t. :/ When people approach hour eleven, no one wants to listen to you yap about how much you love everyone and how much you’ve learned about yourself and others on the trip, even though it really is meaningful and appreciated. Take it from someone who knows and save your incredible insight for the next morning. I promise people will love it!!!

Pros

Eating Absolute Crap

If anyone ever tried to make me eat a salad during a road trip I don’t know what I would do. I might low key open the door and roll out onto the highway, because no matter what happens in life, I will always count on college road trips to promote bad decisions. It really is the only time twenty-year-old humans can reach, with no judgment, for a fewbags of pure diabetes. "Let's see here...they got Trolli Sour Brite Crawlers, Flamin’ Hot Cheetos, Zebra Cakes, and Dove Milk Chocolates. I better get them all since I'll be burning calories in the car for so long, just to be safe." Everyone needs to thank your road trips. Thank them for allowing us to justify literally anything we put into our mouths, except Slim Jims...still not sure what kind of meat that is.

Unexpected Views

During road trips I love taking backroads and planning scenic detours, but the coolest views to me are always unexpected. Like when you’re staring at pine trees for three hours and then BOOM you’re suddenly sittin’ cloud level on one of the neatest bridges you’ve ever seen. Before hitting the road, I try to imagine what the different routes on my trip will look like, but until I see them for myself the surprise remains. I like that. I like pretending that the landscape just kinda randomly decides when to press the ‘rap air horn’ button. “Berr, berr, berr, berrrrrr. I'm called the Horace Wilkinson Bridge y'allllllll!” There’s just something about traveling hundreds of miles and having no idea what lies ahead. Florida looked a lot different than I thought it would, needs more gators little Marco.

Spontaneity

College kids should always allow a few random detours during road trips. Why? Because we can! What’s holding us back? Jobs? No. Early bedtimes? No. Kids? Perhaps. But really, when else can you drive through a deserted town in Mississippi and stop at the world’s 3^rd largest banjo? What about violently swerving off the highway to take an exit that leads to a “real live tiger” caged outside of a gas station? Adding thirty minutes to a trip can end up being the best decision you’ve ever made, unless that live tiger ends up being a spray painted dog. That was annoying...

BE WARNED: just because something looks awesome doesn’t mean it is awesome.

Ratchet Apparel

Dressing a smidge towards the homeless side is my all time guilty pleasure. There is nothing like wearing your most treasured (insert name of high school) sweatpants and throwing your hair up in Princess Leia buns all the while forgetting what makeup is and why people wear it. There truly is no better time to display one’s inner swag and multiple F’s that are not given. During road trips, nothing can come between you and your girlie pops. (i am so sorry I just said that) One thing I do ask though is that all passengers apply deodorant. Looking sloppy and smelling sloppy are two completely different things and it's time we acknowledge that.

Cool Convos

Why this ^ GIF? Because I freaking love that movie. Gah, it got me so hyped. I think he was one of my cartoon crushes back in the day. Just look at those moves! A bit predictable, but still just as sharp as the first time.

Okay, back to pro #5. So I’d like to think that me and my friends always have good conversations, ones that don’t involve gossiping or talking about post college plans that I don't have, but we don't. I mean of course we have meaningful talks, but they are more seldom than they should be. "Good" talks are those conversations that include like three or four of your friends and involve topics that actually matter in life. Sure, you may have disagreements, but you also understand that you don’t always have to agree with each other. For example, discussing our political views and thoughts about Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton. All I know is that I feel more comfortable discussing that issue over my personal email account while typing with my big hands because they are not little. RT though, what I love most about meaningful conversations is the reassurance I find after them. You realize that the relationships you've been building for the last four years have some actual substance and depth. This world is filled with unworthy distractions, but road trips seem to take them away. I am thankful that humans get motion sickness if they stare at their phone/book in the car. Hang up to hang out people!