Despite the rise of inter-sectional feminism in the United States, work places continue to be unfriendly towards non cis-hetero men. Depending where you work geographically, this unfriendliness can range from mildly annoying to anxiety-triggering. In my eight years of employment as a white cis-woman, I have experienced a healthy work in environment only twice. Sexism is one type of "unfriendliness" I am very familiar with. As a result, I am sharing three steps you can take to end sexism, including sexual harassment, at work. I am writing from a white, cis-female perspective but these rules are so general they may expand, with varied success, to other forms of harassment.

STEP 1: Tell the person they are bothering you.

Though it may be more comfortable to report the person right away, it is legally more important to tell the person being sexist or sexually harassing you that their behavior is unwelcome. It is very easy for someone to say they had 'no idea' their behavior was inappropriate, despite how inappropriate it may be. For example, if someone "hits" on you and you laugh uncomfortably, they may see it as an acceptance of the compliment or advance. The moment you alert them that their behavior is unwelcome, the ball now rests in their court. At the first offence, I believe a verbal warning is sufficient. The person may not know they are being inappropriate, for whatever reason, and if you call them out the behavior, they may stop. Additionally, nipping the problem in the bud as soon as possible may prevent further, more dangerous harassment from the offender. If you warn them verbally one or two times and the behavior continues, it is time to start building a paper trail. It is very important to build proof this person is harassing you or being overtly sexist before you tell your direct report, or they may not believe you.

STEP 2: If the harassment continues, report them.

If this employee is your equal, it is important to bring proof of harassment to your direct report. It is likely your boss will not believe someone is being sexist or harassing you without proof. This may be in the form of email, paper, video, or whatever tool you can use to convict your harasser. Yes, it is quite annoying that the boss would not believe you, as it takes a lot of courage to tell them that you are being harassed in the first place. Even if you do come in with proof, it is possible the person will get nothing but a slap on the wrist, at the most. Do not take this as a sign the harassment is not actually happening. If what someone is saying to you makes you uncomfortable, do not be led into thinking that you were just "triggered." If it feels like harassment, it is harassment despite what others may or may not believe. If nothing changes after this step, or the harassment gets worse, it is time to think about quitting.

STEP 3: If no one comes to your aid, or you become ostracized, QUIT.

The most important thing to understand about a job is that you can leave. There are so many people in the world, there is not a single employer that will be "screwed" if you leave, despite what they may tell you. If the harassment gets to the point where it is dangerous, leave as soon as possible. Work a minimum wage job in the meantime if you have to. If you believe you are in danger, you probably are. Never mistrust your instinct unless you are diagnosed medically with a reason you should not. If the harassment is annoying, decide what you are okay with. Are you okay with a job that does not support your identity? Are you okay working with a boss that is okay with sexism? The answer for me was no, so I quit as soon as I was financially able or if the job was seasonal, I didn't come back the next season. Often times, after reporting sexual harassment or the like, you may be ostracized from your company. This is an abuse tactic and another sign you must leave as soon as you are able. This part depends on you and your guts. There are jobs out there that will support you in a non-abusive way. If you have to move around a few companies, especially if its early in your career, don't be afraid to.

Overall, any form of harassment or sexism should not be tolerated. Unfortunately, that is not the reality of work. There is no way, however, that it will be made better for you if you decide to say nothing. There are a growing number of people that are not the "status quo" in the workforce. The more that we speak up, the more we can achieve. Never settle for less and believe in yourself, that way, no one can tell you what you should and shouldn't put up with at work.