The road to addiction is one that starts out as exciting and fun but soon becomes quite taxing and miserable. What once was a blissful trail through a dandelion field turns into a rocky path surrounded by a bare, dark forest.
For those that are in the midst of an addiction, struggling to recover, or have a loved one who you are concerned about, this is most definitely for you.
I write this from the perspective of someone who has danced with the devil herself, and someone who witnessed others- strangers, friends, family members- run into his arm willingly. I’ve seen the pain it causes in others and have experienced this pain.
For these reasons, I write to everyone who has ever known this pain.
It doesn’t matter what kind of addiction you’re battling, whether it’s drugs, food, sex, or anything else. You may be blind to the clarity to recognize it as a problem, searching for it, or have discovered it already. If it’s something that causes you pain, keeps you up at night, or hinders you from becoming the best version of yourself, with a sober mind attempt to identify these feelings you have. Sit with them.
Write down how it makes you feel and read the words on the page. Read them, and save them for later so you can re-read them whenever you may need to. This is a great starting point.
Tally your small victories. Every day you go without indulging, create a visual so that you can see the progress you’ve made. It can be a note on your phone or some silly stickers you put on each day of your calendar. Remember the practice does not equal perfection, however, it does signify progress.
Even if you do slip up, refrain from having an all-or-nothing attitude. The progress you’ve made does not go away simply because you give in on one of those "off days.”
Forgiveness is such an important quality to possess when it comes to recovery. Forgive yourself. All the guilt and shame from the past will constantly weigh on your shoulders if you don’t.
Love yourself the way you are. I know this is so hard for some of us. Especially if we feel like we destroy everything we touch. Create something beautiful to remind yourself that this is not true.
Make music with your favorite instrument, paint with your favorite colors, plant your favorite flowers in a garden. These little things remind you that although you feel damaged, you are not broken. You still have the ability to create meaningful, beautiful things.
Know that you are not your past. Reflection is important to learn from past mistakes, but do not live there. Read about successful people who have battled with conquer similar demons you are facing and learn from them as well.
Understand that it is okay to let some people go, as this is inevitable when it comes to recovery. You are on a quest to create new memories with the people who will love and cherish the new and improved you.
Reach out to the people you know can help you. I know this can be hard. We refrain from getting close to people because we’ve been left in the past, or even isolated ourselves. Maybe we don’t want others to see us struggle, or we want to do it on our own. But you don’t have to.
A simple fact of life is that we all need a little help sometimes. This doesn’t make us weak, it only strengthens us so that we may become a savior for others. This is such a more gratifying, empowering feeling than your addiction may provide.
Know that it is never too late until you take your last breath. It is better to die trying than to never have tried at all. Although it may be very hard and painful at times, recovery will not kill you if you educate yourself on the steps you need to take and keep moving forward.
Remember this prayer. Whether you are a religious person or not, may you find the same comfort in these words as I have.
“God grant me the serenity,
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
As it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
If I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
And supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.”
This prayer reminds us to focus our energy away from the things we cannot change; we must let go and have faith in the outcome. It reminds us of the courage it takes to look within ourselves for the light we have put out for so long; to ask ourselves what we can do every day to reach our ultimate dreams and goals. And although we will encounter hardships and may not be happy all at times, we must learn to find peace within ourselves so that we may be overall, reasonably happy.
You do matter. You are here for a reason, believe that. You do deserve love, peace and happiness just as much as the next person. We are constantly searching for stability in an unstable environment, which is why we must build strength within ourselves to climb every mountain we may encounter.
You are the author of your own story. May you continue on your journey and cherish all your waking moments.
