Ah, Black Friday. The lovely holiday that sneaks it’s way between Thanksgiving, Christmas, and every shop-aholic's heart. A day surrounded by lines snaking around cold sidewalks at 2 am, and girl fights over the last pair of 70% shoes everyone just had to have. In all honesty, black friday is less about the super low deals and more about the allure. Yes, there are the smart ones who choose to stay in and sleep the morning after Turkey day. But who isn’t intrigued by hundreds of crazy people showing up at Walmart at 2AM to purchase this summer’s plastic blow up pool that will collect dust in the garage and eventually pop? Or the carefully planned mother who's had her eye on little Johnny’s new Wii marked down to $98.99 since October? While it is still relevant, I’d like to introduce the five wonderful types of people you see if you are brave enough to grab your early morning WAWA coffee and venture out into the cold, dark, uninviting world that is Black Friday.

#1 The obsessive mother

This woman has clearly been planning since last year. Between her organized, color coordinated, highlighted list of the aisles of her local Toys R US and her binder of people she needs to purchase gifts for this holiday season; this woman has clearly got it too figured out. She is almost terrifying, avoid at all costs. Although scary and hyper organized, this woman has got her sh*t together.

Shopper rating : 10/10 for time management, effort, skill level, and completion of task

#2 The techie

Seen ONLY at Best Buy, the electronic section of Target, the apple store (or perhaps perusing a new printer at Staples) this seasoned shopper is headed out for one tech item of the year that they’d LOVE to score for under $599.99, (best of luck to them). This person may have to fight someone who also has had their eye on a similar techie prize, and is not interested in the whole black friday scene- just their gadgets.

Shopper rating : 3/10 for not diversifying shopping possibilities

#3 The Tween

“So we totally got up with all our friends at 2:30 am to go to the mall AND we just drank 3 frappuccinos from Starbucks each to keep up our sugar high! Our cool friend’s mom gave us a ride here and we blasted Justin Bieber. We’re planning on sneaking into Victoria’s secret later today!”

Shopper rating: 1/10 for being 12 years old and roaming a crowded mall at 4 am

#4 The “moral support”

We’ve all seen him. The guy reluctantly lagging behind his wife/girlfriend/sister holding her 13 massive bags filled with Steve Madden shoes and half priced Lulu Lemon as she shops on. This guy was bribed to come shopping at 4 AM with the promise of something, perhaps a thanksgiving leftover sandwich or an 8AM diner breakfast?

Shopper rating: 8/10 for effort

#5 The only shops on Black Friday shopper

This person has been waiting ALL year for this moment. Perhaps the most neurotic of all the black friday shoppers is the person who ONLY shops on black friday. Not only will they get all their holiday shopping done by 11 am, they will do it while dragging two marked down luxury suitcases behind them to fill with the 85 new pointless (but cheap) items they’ve been eyeing all year AND gifts for every cousin, aunt, uncle, son, daughter, husband, pet, PTA vice president, sister, mother, and garden club committee member they know.