So as the month of September unfolds in front of our eyes, we all know the drill. It starts to become cooler (hopefully); the leaves begin turning hues of orange, red and yellow. Fall encompasses things along the lines of football games, tailgates, sweater weather, haunted houses, Halloween, and of course, pumpkin everything! We all know what that means. Fall=the basic white girl emerges. Let me begin to tell you the breakdown of what being a white girl entails. You see, whether we want to realize it or not, most girls, and some guys even, embody this stereotypical character. Yet, really, let’s figure out what being “basic” means. In ten easy steps, you too can become the epitome of a basic white girl.
- Wear leggings and comfy oversized sweaters…yes, you know what that means. Wear your typical fall colors like olive green, burnt orange, tan or burgundy and you’re halfway there. Then all you have to do is make sure that the tag inside is either from Urban Outfitters or Brandy Melville.
- Bathe yourself in pumpkin everything. We all know that the fall season makes everyone giddy for pumpkin (and I mean pumpkin everything!). People flock into their local coffee shops for pumpkin spice lattes, pumpkin cookies, cakes, bagels, cream cheese, soup, candles, air fresheners. The list is endless. I’m pretty certain that if they made pumpkin spice toothpaste that would fly off of the shelves too. Is that a thing? I certainly hope not…
- Take artsy Instagram photos. All tried and true basic white girls try to take artsy insta-pics and make witty captions to go along with it. We’re all guilty of it at some point (at least I am). In the fall, I can guarantee that it will either include their pumpkin spiced coffee, a “candid” in fall leaves or apple/pumpkin picking. Nothing wrong with that; embrace the stereotype.
- Ugg boots. I’ll leave it at Ugg boots. Do whatever you like and whatever is comfy (my disclaimer). However, my Ugg obsession in middle/high school meant that I had a total of at least 10 pairs that now sit in my closet with cobwebs; yet I can guarantee you that once the cooler weather sets in, people will start rocking their eighth grade obsession once again.
- Scarves. Scarves galore. Infinity scarves. Scarves that are ruffled. Scarves that have braids. Scarves that are gingham print. Striped. Solid. You name it, white girls own it…
- Pumpkin picking, picking off of apple trees for juicy, crisp fall treats, picking fields to find white girls…Whether it is your local family farm that allows you to go to pumpkin patches and pick your own jack-o-lantern to be, or the apple tree to climb, I can guarantee you that your local farms will be filled with white girls posing for ‘candids,' lifting heavy pumpkins to impress the boy next door or trying to think of a witty caption for a photo shoot they took with the scarecrow.
- Go to a local haunted event. Whether it is a haunted hay ride, haunted corn maze, or haunted house, I can guarantee you that you will see herds of white girls screaming bloody murder when someone peeps out from the cornstalk with a chainsaw and bloodied face.
- Go to football games. We all know that school spirit is a must. Whether one is in high school or college, fall means football games. Sporting school colors and wearing paint on your face totally means you know the ins and outs of football, right?
- Have candles burning every two seconds, and yes, they smell like outdoors even if it is in your cinder-block walled dorm room. We all know that candles are a hazard and they must be put on warmers, but we can assume that every typical “white girl” has a collection of fall themed candles. One probably smells like leaves. Another like pumpkin spice. Maybe apple cider? Some that smell like candy corns and others that smell like toasty marshmallows over a smoldering fireplace. Pick your poison, because I can guarantee that each and every room you step into will be adorned with a fall scent of some sort.
- Started planning their Halloween costume in August. We all know that pretty much everyone loves Halloween. Well, at least people like the candy and dressing up (when they were a kid at least!) Yet, when you’re at the age to qualify for being considered a “basic white girl,” you’re main concern is looking the hottest you possibly can in your costume. Whether that means you are a French maid, skimpy princess or fairy, or you and your ‘squad’ dress up as Victoria Secret bags or matching wine bottles, it is a necessary component of surviving October…duh.
So there you go! Ten easy steps to realize whether or not you are a basic white girl. Doesn’t matter if you are not white or a girl, we all know that this stereotype is embodied by nearly everyone in the fall, because who doesn’t like chilly mornings, spicy coffee, or colorful leaves dotting the trees?
