I want to say that I completed this challenge for some great reason like becoming okay with myself or some feminist statement about society’s expectation on women to wear makeup, but I didn’t. I didn’t even do this as a real experiment, I did this because I left all my makeup in Idaho when I moved back to Texas for the summer and was too cheap to buy new stuff. But none of that matters, the fact is I went a month without makeup and this is what I learned.

When I first discovered I didn’t have my makeup I was devastated. Because I know you probably can’t tell by looking at me, but I love makeup. I buy way more expensive stuff that I barely use, that I don’t need, and don’t know how to apply. So over the years I have accumulated a decent collection of products, some of which I now thought I couldn’t live without. I didn’t realize how much I have grown dependent on makeup over the years, but the loss of that crucial part of my morning routine greatly affected me.

I’ve never been one to cake on a bunch of makeup anyway, just a little here and there to cover a blemish or two, and so I thought that I would be fine to wait out the few weeks until my makeup was graciously delivered to me from Idaho (Thanks, Davis lol). But the first couple days were brutal. I was too self-conscious to leave my house other than to go to the gym or walk around the trails in my neighborhood. I felt like people could instantly tell I wasn’t wearing makeup and I felt this strange urge to have to explain myself and my bare face.

But the thing that I didn’t expect was how the missing step in my morning routine would leave me tired and groggy. I thought that being able to sleep in an extra twenty minutes would help me be awake each day. But that twenty moments spent focusing on just myself each morning was something that I found really wakes me up and helps me feel confident each morning. I found it wasn’t the covering of my blemishes that made me feel more confident, but the extra time spent each morning on feeling and looking my best that made me feel beautiful.

As the weeks went on, I found myself growing more comfortable with my bare face. I found new ways to have me time in the morning, like spending little extra time on my hair or picking out a cute outfit. I focused more on skin care and saw my skin clear up. Most of my friends didn’t even notice I wasn’t wearing makeup and I even got compliments on my skin. I no longer felt the need to apologize for my bare face and actually grew to love the ability to rub my eyes without the worry of smudging my eye makeup. There was a freedom in no makeup, but I also felt stifled. I missed the option of winging my eyeliner or wearing a bright lipstick. I craved the creativity that putting on my makeup each morning inspired.

So I wish I could end this by saying that now I am totally comfortable with going out without makeup and that when I received my bag, I put it in the back of my closet and never touched it, but that’s just simply not true. I enjoyed the time I was given to focus more on my skincare and the convenience of not worrying about smearing my eye makeup or foundation, but I also value the creative release and personal time the act of “putting on my face” gives me each morning. Because makeup isn’t about covering your flaws, it’s about enhancing the aspects of yourself that you already love. And taking that extra time each morning to focus on the parts of myself that I already love, brightens each and every morning.