Bandages Don't Fix Bullet Holes: The Path To Forgiveness | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Lifestyle

Bandages Don't Fix Bullet Holes: The Path To Forgiveness

We forgive because we wish to be forgiven, we forgive because we know the inevitability of needing forgiveness from others someday.

73
Bandages Don't Fix Bullet Holes: The Path To Forgiveness
Huffington Post

Forgiveness is a virtue I doubt I will ever master. Growing up, we are taught to forgive our sibling that stole our toy and to say sorry to the friend whose feelings we hurt. We forgive because we wish to be forgiven, we forgive because we know the inevitability of needing forgiveness from others someday. For the longest time, I understood forgiveness as forgetting, as allowing the person who wronged me to relinquish their guilt. While this logic worked for the insignificant wrongdoings, my understanding of forgiveness seemed to crumble when it came to real problems. It seemed as though I was no longer able to forgive and forget. Hurt burrowed so deep within me that I was unsure I would ever begin to forgive, much less anytime soon.

Unfortunately, the funny thing about hurt is that if held onto too long, it begins to eat away at you. As much as I tried to hold at arm's length this inevitable truth, it became abundantly clear that at some point I would have to let go for my own sanity.

For the longest time, I felt like I did not need to forgive, I did not need to let go, I was handling it. I did not understand that forgiveness was something for myself, not the other person. I was so torn apart by the hurt I was feeling that I was willing to feel that anger and sadness every day so long as it meant the person who has hurt me would suffer too.

Maybe if they felt as broken as I did, it would be worth it.

Though many people close to me had advised me to try to forgive, their requests were met with disdain and frustration. I felt as though no one could understand the amount of pain I felt and that they needed to respect how long it may take me to forgive. It was not until I took a course in Philosophy that I began to contemplate what true forgiveness could look like.

It is far easier to talk about normative forgiveness in the hypothetical than to actually practice it. Alas, in class we discussed how forgiveness meant the foreswearing of resentment, that one can only forgive what was proper to resent initially, and how one must consciously and intentionally forgive for moral reasons. In other words, we should forgive because not to would be morally unjust. In a perfect world, the wrong-doer would repent and seek atonement for their wrong doing. Regrettably, we do not live in a perfect world. In some circumstances, the person who wronged you will never get the chance to ask for forgiveness or even realize that they should. This leaves us with needing to figure out how to forgive for our own sake so that we can move on.

I wish I could say that forgiveness is a simple process, that it is as easy as saying "I forgive you", but it is so much more than that. It took me quite some time to redefine what my misguided look at forgiveness meant, but once I was able to accept my new interpretation of it, I was finally able to let go.

I no longer wake up every morning feeling plagued by the hurt and anger. That does not mean that I never think about what happened and get upset, but I have pardoned myself from feeling that hurt on the daily, I finally decided that harboring the hurt was no longer worth it.

The path to forgiveness is not painless or uncomplicated, nor is it a swift, but it is a worthwhile one.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Featured

15 Mind-Bending Riddles

Hopefully they will make you laugh.

185472
 Ilistrated image of the planet and images of questions
StableDiffusion

I've been super busy lately with school work, studying, etc. Besides the fact that I do nothing but AP chemistry and AP economics, I constantly think of stupid questions that are almost impossible to answer. So, maybe you could answer them for me, and if not then we can both wonder what the answers to these 15 questions could be.

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

Most Epic Aurora Borealis Photos: October 2024

As if May wasn't enough, a truly spectacular Northern Lights show lit up the sky on Oct. 10, 2024

11723
stunning aurora borealis display over a forest of trees and lake
StableDiffusion

From sea to shining sea, the United States was uniquely positioned for an incredible Aurora Borealis display on Thursday, Oct. 10, 2024, going into Friday, Oct. 11.

It was the second time this year after an historic geomagnetic storm in May 2024. Those Northern Lights were visible in Europe and North America, just like this latest rendition.

Keep Reading...Show less
 silhouette of a woman on the beach at sunrise
StableDiffusion

Content warning: This article contains descriptions of suicide/suicidal thoughts.

When you are feeling down, please know that there are many reasons to keep living.

Keep Reading...Show less
Relationships

Power of Love Letters

I don't think I say it enough...

455587
Illistrated image of a letter with 2 red hearts
StableDiffusion

To My Loving Boyfriend,

  • Thank you for all that you do for me
  • Thank you for working through disagreements with me
  • Thank you for always supporting me
  • I appreciate you more than words can express
  • You have helped me grow and become a better person
  • I can't wait to see where life takes us next
  • I promise to cherish every moment with you
  • Thank you for being my best friend and confidante
  • I love you and everything you do

To start off, here's something I don't say nearly enough: thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart. You do so much for me that I can't even put into words how much I appreciate everything you do - and have done - for me over the course of our relationship so far. While every couple has their fair share of tiffs and disagreements, thank you for getting through all of them with me and making us a better couple at the other end. With any argument, we don't just throw in the towel and say we're done, but we work towards a solution that puts us in a greater place each day. Thank you for always working with me and never giving up on us.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

11 Signs You Grew Up In Hauppauge, NY

Because no one ever really leaves.

25167
Map of Hauppauge, New York
Google

Ah, yes, good old Hauppauge. We are that town in the dead center of Long Island that barely anyone knows how to pronounce unless they're from the town itself or live in a nearby area. Hauppauge is home to people of all kinds. We always have new families joining the community but honestly, the majority of the town is filled with people who never leave (high school alumni) and elders who have raised their kids here. Around the town, there are some just some landmarks and places that only the people of Hauppauge will ever understand the importance or even the annoyance of.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments