I’m a Vaganova Ballet Academy graduate, which means I have a diploma certifying me as a professional ballet dancer. That also means I’ve spent about seven years at one of the world’s leading ballet schools, doing six hours of ballet a day instead of studying things a normal high school student would, like math and chemistry. I happen to mention this fact about me to people from time to time, and some of the questions I get asked are surprisingly similar. In this article I’ll try to answer some of those questions, as well as address some misconceptions about what life of a ballet dancer is like.

Stereotype #1: all ballet dancers have eating disorders/keep a very strict diet/don’t eat any food at all

Is it true? Not really. Sure, I knew people who had to maintain a certain diet to stay in shape, but most of us ate whatever we wanted because we knew we would burn all the calories during hours and hours of ballet practices.

Stereotype #2: dancers are very competitive and hurt each other in order to get better grades and roles

Judging by my experience, that stereotype is very exaggerated. Sure, there’s crazy competition, but the relationships in my class weren’t affected by it. We were doing a good job of separating our personal lives and ballet, and we knew that by hurting someone we wouldn’t advance very well. There are two ways to succeed: being really good at ballet, or having really good connections to the school. Each of those things are easy to separate from a person you’re friends with—some of the girls I was in class with are the most supportive and lovely people, and we managed to be great friends even though often we had to compete for certain parts in shows and places in class.

Stereotype #3: all the guys in ballet are gay

That’s also not really true. While some of them are, in fact, gay—but the percentage isn’t bigger than in any other field of work. Actually, I’ve met much more gay people after I graduated from the Academy. Our director, though, is gay. But that doesn’t mean that every male student is too. And the girls' sexualities also vary. It's just like anywhere else. Okay, yeah, the guys have to wear glitter and tights and makeup. And they survive that just fine.

Stereotype #4: the teachers are crazy/very strict/violent

This one is actually very true. The stories about ballet teachers being violent, insulting students, throwing chairs around studios—all that really does happen. I’ve witnessed the chairs flying, I’ve experienced the bullying, I’ve almost dropped out at one point because my teacher was mad at me, and that meant I couldn’t land any good parts in performances or even expect fair grades. And the reason why she was mad at me seems ridiculous to anyone who isn’t familiar with ballet schools’ unspoken rules: I’ve made the mistake of taking private ballet lessons over the summer and got caught by a choreographer that worked at the Academy. Why it’s forbidden to take private classes is still unclear to everyone, and no one ever tells you it’s prohibited; you just know that you have to keep it a secret if you’re going to do it. And I tried, failed, and then paid the price for two years, until I graduated and decided not to stay at the Academy for a Bachelor’s.

Overall, my experience at VBA was amazing and horrible at the same time. I’m certain that I wouldn’t have had so much fun if I was going to a normal high school. During those seven years I got the chance to perform in the biggest theaters in my city, meet incredible people, grow stronger and make awesome memories. But also I was bullied, depressed, had to go through unfair treatment and learn very early that even if you try hard enough things might not work out the way you wanted. But you know what? Maybe instead they work out the way you needed—I’m happy with who I am and with what I’m doing now, and I have no regrets.