When I was a little girl, I imagined myself being an amazing ballerina. I saw myself wearing the attire and dancing on my toes. I took classes for about two years until my dance teacher got fired and I wasn't sure of what to do. Well, I didn't pursue this profession but I still love it. After my teacher got fired, I couldn't take classes anyway because my family was financially struggling. Regardless, I still view ballet as one of the most beautiful creations, and my growing appreciation is recent.

I moved on and in high school, I was a part of the color guard team and I knew that I could not continue this in college for different reasons. I still wanted to find a way to continue in a performing art. I took two semesters of ballet for my first year of college. During this, I grew a stronger appreciation for ballet. It is something that I had kept away for years - not intentionally - but I found a way back to it. While it is not something I can regularly do and will probably never learn to dance at the point of my toes, I watch performance videos, rehearsal videos, and I enjoy learning about it through other learning videos. I also watched the Billy Elliot movie again.

When I was younger, I admired the Royal Opera House. Recently, they have been temporarily posting full performances as a fundraiser so I have been enjoying those too. So, when I grew to appreciate ballet again, I absolutely loved a clip from the Alice in Wonderland ballet. To me, it is such a graceful beauty to look at. But, it is so hard to do and I strongly admire those who pursued ballet professionally. It takes every muscle in your body to dance, whether or not on the point of your toe, and maintain your stage presence. Ballet takes so many years to master it's quite mind-blowing to me.

You may be thinking that a ballet is just one or a few ballerinas dancing and that's about it, but it's not. A performer of any kind has to make the audience feel an emotion without saying it. In a ballet, it is like a play with just dance and no words - to put it simple. It's also not all a pink frilly tutu or a male dancer just for support (stop ignoring them). A performance of any kind requires various and unique costumes. Every dancer is important to the show too. There's no such thing as an irrelevant part in a performance.

There are downsides though, but they pertains to what happens behind the curtains. Ballet is very competitive. I've heard stories about glass being left in main dancers' shoes out of jealousy for the roles. That is something I don't wish upon anyway no matter how competitive you may feel. Ballet also has this stigma about what the body should look like. While ballet is a lot of exercise that gives that thin look, not everyone is built the same way. People have been body-shamed out of ballet world.

I think that watching performances is relaxing to me but it also brings out the appreciation of what could have been. Had I stayed in ballet, would I have pursued it? Would I have joined color guard regardless? When did I get so shy about dancing anyway? These thoughts do not linger in my head. It's not a regret, but I simply enjoy knowing that I did partake in it once in my life. I don't have to avidly participate to admire it.

This is, of course, a dream that I am over. It was just not the life meant for me, and that's okay. I want to visit England one day just to watch a ballet performance in the Royal Opera House. It's a beautiful work of art that deserves recognition.