If you're like me and you went to Junior High and High School with the same classmates that you went to Elementary with, then you'll understand how college brings a whole new and exciting time in your life. It's a fresh start for creating a new life with new friends, and most importantly, learning new things about yourself.
Before I went to university some people would label me as an introvert. I wasn't the one who wanted to be the center of attention or the outspoken one in class. However, others who saw me in settings outside of the classroom or in small groups would label me as an extrovert. To be honest, I didn't know which one I truly was. There would be moments where I was more comfortable sitting back and not saying anything at all, and there were other moments when I had as much energy as a toddler does after eating ice cream! I didn't know who I was except that I knew when I felt comfortable to speak up and when to stay quiet. It wasn't until I took the infamous Myers Briggs personality test at my university that I discovered my personality.
I had no clue what my personality was before this, let alone that there were so many different personality types! But what I found was that I was not at all 100% the personality that my Myers Briggs told me. (Then again, who is 100% of one thing?) While this test gave me some clarity on what my personality is, I was still confused about whether I was an extrovert or an introvert.
An extrovert is a person who gains their energy from interractions outside of themselves. An introvert is a person who gains their energy by drawing inward and spending time alone.
Honestly, I see both of those personalities in myself. I act like both in certain situations, but I used to think something was wrong with me because I was constantly going back and forth between being an introvert and an extrovert. I didn't know who I was. I was confused! The problem with the Myers Briggs is that they don't measure people who fall in the middle of the scale. This was the beginning of my discovery of the ambivert.
An ambivert is a person with both introvert and extrovert qualities. Ambiverts love social settings and being around people, but amibverts need solitude too. If they have too much of of either side they will go crazy! Balance is key for the ambivert (although I would advise that balance is key for any personality type.)
If you're having trouble figuring out where you are on the extrovert-introvert scale then maybe this will help. If you can relate to any of these 8 things, then you might be an ambivert:
1. You love being around people, but you find your energy drained when you leave the group.
In a group, you may not be the "life of the party," but you'll either participate in the group discussion when a topic of interest comes up, or you'll seek out one or two people in the room to have a more meaningful conversation.
2. People have mistaken you for an extrovert or introvert because of your flexibility.
Depending on the situation and the person you're with, you may either keep quiet or be more outspoken. If you're talking to an extreme extrovert who dominates the conversation, you'll back down. But if you're talking to an extreme introvert, then you'll speak out more to make up for the other person's quiet nature.
3. No day is the same for an ambivert.
Every day is a new day, and every place is a new place. No matter how many times you've been working at that job, going to that school or shopping at the same store, you'll find that your interactions with people are different every time. Sometimes you have a five minute meaningful conversation with the cashier at Target, and other times it's the typical "Did you find everything OK?" conversation.
4. You can understand the way people feel in different situations, but it's hard for people to understand you sometimes.
One day you'll want to conquer all your fears and talk to a stranger for 20 minutes; your introvert friends won't understand this. And then later that day, you'll want to stay inside on the couch away from people for the night because you exerted so much energy talking to people earlier that day; your extrovert friends won't understand that.
5. You like making plans with people, but you're relieved when those plans are cancelled.
6. Your dog is probably your best friend.
Your dog is fine with cuddling on the couch with you or running around in the yard or walking at the dog park while meeting other dogs and their owners. Wherever y'all go and whatever y'all do, he's just happy to be with you!
7. Your introvert and extrovert tendencies are pretty mild.
Starting a conversation with someone you don't know very well brings a lot of anxiety, but what is even more difficult than starting a conversation is maintaining the conversation. However, like all things for an ambivert, this is totally situational. There are some people and times when starting a conversation and maintaining the conversation can be as easy and breezy as a Cover Girl commercial.
8. In a group discussion you're a fly on the wall until a topic of interest comes up in the conversation.
You can be a good listener. Unless a topic you're really passionate about comes up in the discussion, and suddenly you find yourself talking as much as the extreme extrovert in the group.
(Warning: This can be good and bad. It's good to be able to make your voice heard, but not if you cause the other quieter personalities in the group to shut down with your sudden enthusiasm.)
So, there you have it. Eight things to help you figure out your personality. There is nothing wrong with finding yourself at either extreme or in the middle of the scale. What is most important about your newfound knowledge is that you learn the good and bad of your personality and how to work well with others. (That's what college is for.)
If you find yourself wavering between your Myers Briggs results, it's a high possibility that you are an ambivert, or what I like to call it: the best of both worlds.
