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Mastering the Art of Pettiness: 51 Clever Wishes for Your Not-So-Favorite People

I hope you never feel so strongly to wish someone dead; only inconvenienced.

Paige Morgan

Nov 15, 2023

University of Iowa

45121

Recently, one of my friends used the phrase, "I want to strangle her." Though I, and many others, can relate to extreme frustration or dislike to select people, I hope you never feel the need to be so violent and extreme. Instead of wishing them dead, why not wish them inconvenienced? It's so much sweeter. So, to anyone who has done wrong, just say: I hope you…

1. Stub your toe on your favorite piece of furniture

petty things to wish on someone: Stub your toe i.chzbgr.com

2. Miss a spot while shaving

3. Have your contact dry out

4. Have toenails that grow too fast and have to clip them every day

5. Have eyeliner that is never straight

Petty things to wish for your enemy: Bad eyeliner www.ocregister.com

6. Always buy the clumpiest mascara

7. Suffer from severe split ends

8. Always receive "hot" coffee cold

9. Receive overcooked food at your favorite restaurant

10. Have to get braces for the second time

Petty things to wish for your enemy: get brackets ichef.bbci.co.uk

11. Buy cracked eggs

12. Have a pet that eats your bra

13. Get a bad haircut

Petty things to wish for your enemy: Bad haircut pbs.twimg.com

14. Still have acne after the age of twenty

15. Have bad Wi-Fi that goes out when you're trying to submit a paper

Petty things to wish for your enemy: Bad wifi www.freepik.com

Download this Free Photo about Monkey man having doubts with his laptop, and discover more than 31 Million Professional Stock Photos on Freepik. #freepik #photo #businessmanthinking #businessthinking #boss

16. Spill dark liquids on white clothes

17. Have bad gas on a first date

Petty things to wish for your enemy: gas on a first date www.yourtango.com

18. Get put on at least a 20-minute wait for a table

19. Can't get the right shoe size

20. Whites turn pink in the wash

Petty things to wish for your enemy: turn your whites into pink while doing laundry static.wikia.nocookie.net

21. Run out of conditioner but always have too much shampoo

22. Get thirty-second YouTube ads

23. Forget to cancel your free trial

Petty things to wish for your enemy: forget to cancel free trial preview.redd.it

24. Hit only red lights when you're late for work

25. Forget the punchline to your joke

26. Only hear "you had to be there" stories

27. Forget your pizza in the oven

Petty things to wish for your enemy: burn your pizza www.mashed.com

28. Leave your phone across the room when you just sat down

29. Break a nail

30. Lose the TV remote

31. Have Netflix constantly buffer

32. Can't get spinach out of your teeth

Petty things to wish for your enemy: spinach on your teeth bloximages.newyork1.vip.townnews.com

33. Have to work on your birthday

34. Have a fly in your car

35. Lose your room key

36. Say hi when your friends aren't looking and don't get recognized

37. Get brought the wrong food

Petty things to wish for your enemy: get wrong food media.baamboozle.com

38. Run into your parents at a bar

39. Have your flipflop break

40. Forget your sunglasses

41. Kill your succulent

Petty things to wish for your enemy: kill your succulent www.housedigest.com

42. Get caught in the rain without an umbrella

43. Forget to charge your phone

44. Have an awkward conversation in stores with acquaintances

45. Fill your eyebrows in too dark

Petty things to wish for your enemy: bad eyebrows i.pinimg.com

46. Don't have continental breakfast at your hotel

47. Have to cough during prayer in church

48. Call your significant other the wrong name

49. Watch your favorite sports team lose

Petty things to wish for your enemy: watch your team lose qph.cf2.quoracdn.net

50. Go over your data—because of your sibling

51. Leave your car windows down in the rain

Petty things to wish for your enemy: leave your car window open oards.com

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Recommended for you

Mastering the Art of Pettiness: 51 Clever Wishes for Your Not-So-Favorite People

I hope you never feel so strongly to wish someone dead; only inconvenienced.

1. Stub your toe on your favorite piece of furniture

2. Miss a spot while shaving

3. Have your contact dry out

4. Have toenails that grow too fast and have to clip them every day

5. Have eyeliner that is never straight

6. Always buy the clumpiest mascara

7. Suffer from severe split ends

8. Always receive "hot" coffee cold

9. Receive overcooked food at your favorite restaurant

10. Have to get braces for the second time

11. Buy cracked eggs

12. Have a pet that eats your bra

13. Get a bad haircut

14. Still have acne after the age of twenty

15. Have bad Wi-Fi that goes out when you're trying to submit a paper

16. Spill dark liquids on white clothes

17. Have bad gas on a first date

18. Get put on at least a 20-minute wait for a table

19. Can't get the right shoe size

20. Whites turn pink in the wash

21. Run out of conditioner but always have too much shampoo

22. Get thirty-second YouTube ads

23. Forget to cancel your free trial

24. Hit only red lights when you're late for work

25. Forget the punchline to your joke

26. Only hear "you had to be there" stories

27. Forget your pizza in the oven

28. Leave your phone across the room when you just sat down

29. Break a nail

30. Lose the TV remote

31. Have Netflix constantly buffer

32. Can't get spinach out of your teeth

33. Have to work on your birthday

34. Have a fly in your car

35. Lose your room key

36. Say hi when your friends aren't looking and don't get recognized

37. Get brought the wrong food

38. Run into your parents at a bar

39. Have your flipflop break

40. Forget your sunglasses

41. Kill your succulent

42. Get caught in the rain without an umbrella

43. Forget to charge your phone

44. Have an awkward conversation in stores with acquaintances

45. Fill your eyebrows in too dark

46. Don't have continental breakfast at your hotel

47. Have to cough during prayer in church

48. Call your significant other the wrong name

49. Watch your favorite sports team lose

50. Go over your data—because of your sibling

51. Leave your car windows down in the rain

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It's not all morning coffees and singing along to the radio.

You can't just go to your room to take a nap in the middle of your classes.

Having to spend all your extra cash on gas for your car.

Speaking of money, you probably don't have a meal plan so you're forced to scrounge up some change or mooch off of your friends.

It can be harder to maintain the friendships you make with people from class.

Finding a parking spot.

It can be harder to be involved on campus because between your one, two, or three jobs and school you don't have much free time.

When you try to be super involved on campus, it can kill your sleep schedule.

It's impossible to do homework at home, but staying on campus isn't an option sometimes.

There are surveys and events that you can't participate in because you're a commuter.

Group projects are the bane of your existence.

Traffic.

Your backpack rivals that of a survivalist trekking in the woods.

Driving all the way to campus to find a note on the door of your classroom saying class was cancelled.

Because have you ever had to endure grilling your foot on a George Foreman?

1. When he just wanted bacon from his George Foreman grill

2. When he had money (and Jan) issues

3. When he got upstaged at Phyllis' wedding

4. When he unintentionally saved Meredith from rabies

5. When he wore a "bisexual" suit

6. When he had to apologize to Jesus

7. When his GPS drove him into a lake

8. When he had to deal with Ryan as his boss

9. When he couldn't fulfill his most generous empty promise

10. When this happened

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