If this doesn't get you instantly banned from next year’s family Christmas dinner, I don't know what will. Here are 13 things you do in college your mom probably shouldn't know about.

1. Getting a fake ID.

2. Asking for gas/grocery money and spending it on booze.

3. Saying you’re going to come home one weekend but deciding to go to the bars instead.

4. Calling her at work to ask a dumb question about how long to put something in the oven for.

5. Asking for her advice or opinion on something and then being screwed over for not taking it.

6. Starting to tell your mom a typical college story, but then realizing what you did was illegal, so you have to abort mission.

7. Asking for money for textbooks and never opening them.

8. Picking a major that spends a million dollars per semester on supplies.

9. Complaining about your roommate. Then becoming friends again. Then hating them again. Then forgiving them.

10. Complaining about failing an exam because the professor was an ass, when really you just never showed up to class.

11. Taking homemade leftovers back to school and “forgetting” to give the tupperware/pots/pans back.

12. Moving to a different apartment each school year and asking her to help you move/store your things.

13. Not responding to her texts because you’re too trashed to make any sense.

Consider this my apology, mom.

P.S. I truly am sorry for stealing your Tupperware.