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Health and Wellness

I Didn't Know How Bad My Body Dysmorphia Was Until I Made My Bitmoji

My Bitmoji doesn't look anything like me.

Nikki Davis

Mar 27, 2017

Self Love Beauty

3898

I Didn't Know How Bad My Body Dysmorphia Was Until I Made My Bitmoji

Nikki Davis

I don’t love having my picture taken, especially at a point in my life where I am much, eh, “thicker” than normal & have a really dumb haircut. However, I didn’t expect to honestly have NO idea what I actually look like.

I mean, I knew things were a little fishy through my eyes. One of my male friends & I always play this game where I point out women who I think have a similar body shape to mine. I NEVER guess right.

But - I didn’t have any idea how bad it was until I finally created a Bitmoji. You know - those weird little customized cartoons that are always doing funny things. I think it started on facebook or something - & everyone had their bitstrips replacing images of their actual selves. Anyway, all of my friends’ look identical to themselves. It’s really insane. In fact, before 1 week ago, I thought the app custom created your character based on a photo you submitted or something. Like, a line drawing or some posterize shit.

That is not how it works.

Instead, you have to choose every aspect of your Bitmoji’s appearance. I’m not talking face shape, hair color basics either. The app even wants you to decide where to put the wrinkles on your face. WRINKLES. Wrinkles will not deter me. I want a custom cartoon to live in my snapchats & salesforce tickets. Let me walk you through it.

Step 1 - Choose A Style

Bitmoji vs Bitstrips. I’m not really sure what to do here, but the Bitstrips version looks less chubby, so I’ll pick that one.

Step 2 - Face Shape

There are 9 options, & honestly - I have NO IDEA which one is mine. I’ll pick the sphere.

Step 3- Skin Tone

Obvi the whitest one. It is winter. Don’t act like you’re that caramel colored bronze.

Step 4 - Hair Color

Wait. What color is my hair after chemo? Ash grey. Ash grey isn’t an option listed. I’ll pick a “universal” lighter brown.

Step 5 - Hair Length

I’m happy bald is an option. I’m also happy whacky is an option. Either way, my avatar now looks very similar to the man I sit next to at work instead of myself.

Step 6 - Hair Type

Chemo curls is not an option. Is it a wave? Is is a curl? I alternate between roughly 20 options & pick the one that looks the least like an afro & more like fresh puppy fur.

Step 7 - Jaw

What happened to the the whole oval, square, heart options? These are not listed. I don’t know what to do. There are 6 variations of the heart.

Step 8 - Eyebrows

I have to choose between 2 pages of options. Somehow, I end up with the brows of a villain.

Step 9 - Eyebrow Color

Don’t worry - pink is an option.

Step 10 - Eyes

Are there really this many eye shapes? All of the makeup tutorials I’ve watched say no.

Step 11 - Eyelashes

Okay, this is getting ridiculous.

Step 12 - Pupils

No, now I’m just angry.

Step 13 - Eye Color

Finally! Something I know the answer to!

Step 14 - Nose

Default option seems same.

Step 15 - Mouth

Why do all these options have an arrow drawn through the center?

Step 16 - Ears

The lobes aren’t connected. This is all I know.

Step 17 - Earrings

They have no ear climbers. Gross.

Step 18 - Eye Details

Oh, good. They’ve got an option to emphasis the bags underneath my eyes.

Step 19 - Cheek Details

No dimples on this face. Too fat.

Step 20 - Face Lines

Going with the most haggard-looking option. At 30, ya girl is WEATHERED.

Step 21 - Blush

Did they borrow this color palette from MAC?

Step 22 - Eyeshadow

There is not a smokey eye combo to add? Amateurs.

Step 23 - Lipstick

Hallelujah.

Step 24 - Glasses

Am I reading? ...Or just existing?

Step 25 - Headwear

I’m glad they know I can’t leave the house without a bandana - for fear the world will not know I am a girl.

Step 26 - Hair Accessories

Wait. Is this not the same thing as headwear?

Step 27 - Build

UGH. this is just like when internet dating sites want to know your body type. Again, I pick the sphere to match my face. Consistency!

Step 28 - Chest Size

Let me get that L.

Step 29 - Pick Outfit

This section had me feeling like I need to commit a crime. I grab the all-black option that shows the least amount of skin.

After your 30 stress-free steps, you’ll have a cartoon that looks… nothing like yourself. It should be questioned if I own a mirror or not. Because - real talk - I have no idea what I actually look like.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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I Didn't Know How Bad My Body Dysmorphia Was Until I Made My Bitmoji

My Bitmoji doesn't look anything like me.

Step 1 - Choose A Style

Step 2 - Face Shape

Step 3- Skin Tone

Step 4 - Hair Color

Step 5 - Hair Length

Step 6 - Hair Type

Step 7 - Jaw

Step 8 - Eyebrows

Step 9 - Eyebrow Color

Step 10 - Eyes

Step 11 - Eyelashes

Step 12 - Pupils

Step 13 - Eye Color

Step 14 - Nose

Step 15 - Mouth

Step 16 - Ears

Step 17 - Earrings

Step 18 - Eye Details

Step 19 - Cheek Details

Step 20 - Face Lines

Step 21 - Blush

Step 22 - Eyeshadow

Step 23 - Lipstick

Step 24 - Glasses

Step 25 - Headwear

Step 26 - Hair Accessories

Step 27 - Build

Step 28 - Chest Size

Step 29 - Pick Outfit

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We don't buy into these... just like how we don't buy our friends.

8. "The whole philanthropy thing isn't real, right?"

7. "I don't need to buy my friends."

6. "Oh, so I'll bet you love to drink."

5. "Can you tell me some of your secrets?"

4. "What do you do at your meetings?"

3. "Do you guys haze really badly?"

2. "Is it just like in the movies?"

1. "Sororities are so basic."

There are plenty of obstacles that come when taking care of kids, but it's a very rewarding experience.

1. You get excited when the parents purchase season passes to the pool.

2. You've become friends with the stay-at-home moms in town.

3. You get a chance to eat "kid foods" again.

4. You've traded in your cute purse for a large tote bag.

5. You have at least one car seat in your backseat.

6. Their nap time is your happy time.

7. Lunch time can be a disaster.

8. You have to play the same board games repeatedly.

9. You catch yourself using the same lines your parents once told you.

10. Your "mom-mode" kicks in at times.

11. Your heart melts a little when they do something cute.

You'll never find any souvenirs with your name on it

1. You know you are up next when the teacher pauses while taking attendance

2. When “I’m going to do my very best to make sure I know all your names” is said, it may or may be an empty promise

3. “Wow! That sounds so cool! Where is your family from?”

4. You dread when people ask you to repeat your name over and over because it “sounds so cool when you say it”

5. There’s a 50/50 chance that your name will come back either correct or incorrect at Starbucks

6. People try to find shorter, easier nicknames for you instead of calling you by your actual name

7. When someone famous or fictional character shares your name, you get so happy

8. “What’s your name?” “It’s [name]” “I’m sorry, what was it again?”

9. You’ve pretty much seen every misspelling and heard every mispronunciation of your name throughout your life

10. When you find another person with an “ethnic” sounding name, you both get excited

11. Despite the struggles, your name is pretty unique… just like you

Can I be excused for the rest of my life?

Don't Be That Person

1. “Oh, so you/your family are immigrants!”

2. “Is Puerto Rico near Mexico?”

3. “Do you speak Puerto Rican?”

4. “You look too light/dark to be Puerto Rican.”

5. “Do I need my passport to go to Puerto Rico?”

6. “Geez, you are obsessed with your flag. We get it, you’re Puerto Rican.”

7. “Why are you so loud?”

8. “So does your family know English?”

9. “Oh my god, Puerto Ricans are so spicy.”

10. “So did you eat a lot of tacos?”

11. “Are you Mexican?”

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