I sat in the isle at Barnes and Noble and at this point I had already made myself at home. My belongings were thrown to the side, legs stretched out the length of the isle, and a pile about 6 books high at my side.
If this image doesn't relay it, I'm a total book nerd. I love reading. I could probably solely fund the Barnes and Noble I currently found myself in. Anyway, back to the books.
I find myself in this position a lot. Lost in the world of books titles, covers, and blurbs (aka the back of the book). I would scan the shelf to find pretty things catching my eyes: colorful covers, fantastical fonts, terrific titles. Pulling these books down I would go to the back of the book only to find myself uninteresting and far from intrigued in the actual context.
See, despite the eye catching covers and brightly chosen colors the back of the book was important. It told me what would be inside, if I wanted to know more and read the whole book or place it back on the shelf. Then a common household saying from our mommas rang in my ears, "Don't judge a book by its cover." And there, sitting in the isle at Barnes and Noble the Lord peeled back another piece of me.
I'm obsessed with my cover.
I'm obsessed with cover, my image, the me I put out there. Here I was spending time looking past the covers to find out what's really inside, what the book is all about. But in life, I was all about the cover. I want to look pretty and perfect to the world. Have my social media platforms posed and perfect. I wanted people to see I have life together, got God figured out, and have fun in the mean time. To be acknowledged for how pretty I looked today or how much weight I lost because that held value to me, it made me worthwhile. I wanted the cover to be perfect. That way people would admire me from afar and compliment the cover, but never bother to read the back of my book, much less flipping through the pages. Because looking past the cover meant knowing the truth; I'm a broken mess.
The real, honest truth to the story that is me. You would read silly childhood dreams and high school drama, first loves and awkward dates, broken families and restoration, love and heartbreak. You would see the strings of the Lord's faithfulness woven through my book of life to this point and beyond, you'd see all of me.
I sat in that isle longer than expected, I had stopped looking at the books...honestly people probably thought strangely of me. But the Lord had revealed such a harsh reality to me in that moment that I didn't know how to get up and move on from that. Something had to change...
So I decided, I want to be a back of the book person. To care less about the covers and more about the story my life is telling. To draw people in with honesty and truth, hearts open. In the ultimate hope that people stop to see what it's all really about, Who I'm really about. That when they see my true story brokenness and all it just reads this: Jesus saves.
Because think about it, we're the backs of the most important Book ever written. Many people won't just pick up a Bible oh whim, but people will have daily, random, passing interactions with you. In our analogy of books, as we sit together in the isles of the bookstore we can be real here, if you're the living back of the Bible; what story are you giving to Scripture?
Live a life that draws people in to only open it and find Real Truth from the Author of our lives, Christ.
"—but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves"1 Peter 3:3-5
"I want you to show love,
not offer sacrifices.
I want you to know me
more than I want burnt offerings." Hosea 6:6
