Okay friends, let's get real about something for a minute; taking backhanded compliments out of your dialogue should be your number one priority this year. While I don't believe in New Years Resolutions, I do believe in creating guidelines throughout the year to better myself as a person and to perpetuate lifelong growth. Getting rid of backhanded compliments is the first thing on my list as we enter 2016.
There are two kinds of backhanded compliments, and just in case you have no idea what they may be, I will help you. The first kind is called a personal backhanded compliment, or compliments that raise the subject up while simultaneously tearing them down. Some examples may include:
"Wow, you're so much more talented than I thought you were!"
"Why do you wear makeup? You look so much better without it!"
"You're lucky clothes look so good on you. I wish I was as small on top!"
There are also what I like to call dual-person backhanded compliments. These exist when someone compliments the subject while simultaneously tearing another individual down. Some examples of dual-person backhanded compliments are as follows:
"Your cooking is so much better than Angela's! She's an idiot."
"You're nicer than my last girlfriend was. She was crazy."
"Why do people even like Maddie? Kristen is prettier than she is."
Or, my least favorite of them all; a meme which has been circulating the internet for some time now:
This kind of mentality is not cute; It's not funny, or witty, or even remotely comedic at all. It's disgusting. How about we stop comparing people, specifically women, to each other this way? We have enough people trying to oppress us and bring us down, we cannot afford to do it to ourselves. You don't have to agree with the way that everyone lives, but you also don't have to dig at them for it, either.
Compliments aren't compliments if their intent is to also hurt someone in the process. Backhanded compliments shouldn't even be considered compliments, but rather insults disguised as such.
Remember in Kindergarten when your teacher would make you and your classmate chant "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all?" The same thing applies here. If you're going to compliment someone, just do it. If you honestly cannot say anything nice to someone without being rude about it, then just don't open your mouth; don't try to redeem your conscience by making yourself seem nicer.
If you feel the need to backhand compliment, someone, stop and think about what you're saying and who it's affecting. Are you only saying this because they're not around to hear you? Do you have something against this person? What does saying this specific set of words accomplish?
We do not need to add more negativity to this world because it has plenty. A little positivity goes a long way and can change someone's day entirely. It is not that hard to just be nice to people.
#StopBackhandedCompliments2k16
