Yes, this is an unpopular opinion, especially for a college-aged girl, but just hear me out. I have watched a total of two full episodes of this show, including the most recent finale, so what I am saying is mostly unbiased, and is what I have observed from my few times watching the show and the knowledge I have of how it works.
So, the basic premise of the show is that one girl dates a bunch of guys the show picks and ultimately must narrow it down to one of them to marry. This whole thing takes place over the course of a few weeks, and the group travels and they go on single and group dates to get to know each other better.
First of all, where is the logic in that? This girl is dating ten or more guys at once and sees them each for a few hours a day. That is no way to genuinely form a relationship with someone when you are competing with other people to try and win them over. You can argue and say that is how real life is, but news flash, that is not real life.
In addition to that, these people are flown around the world and go on these pre-paid dates that no normal person can afford, so already the relationship is being built on a fake, materialistic foundation. After the show is over, all these trips and the exclusive treatment will not be there and the couple left at the end must actually get to know each other in a realistic setting.
Not to mention, these two people probably do not live in the same area, so now they have to make some rash decision about where to pick up and move to. Even if only one person uproots and moves to where the other lives, that affects so much of their life: their job, their family, their friends, etc. It is not that easy to just up and leave because after two weeks of vacation you think you are in love with someone.
This brings me to another point, and that is, there is no way, whoever ends up being the couple to get engaged is actually in love. It takes months, and many years, for two people to truly fall in love and take the step toward marriage. The “love” they display in this show is superficial and most times, probably only about the ring if I am being blatantly honest.
The people on this show do not really have to deal with real-life situations while filming, so they really do not get to know the person they are going after. They may know the surface, but a few weeks to a month is no way to get to know the heart of the person you are going to potentially marry.
People who go on this show think they are going to find their life partner amidst cameras, and scripts. Go do a search on the rate of couples from this show that actually make it, and I bet the number will be pretty low.
Let me break something to you: that is not the love we were intended to find. Love is sacred, and the ultimate display of how much you care for someone else. This not only goes for love, but also marriage. I think today, too many people do not take marriage seriously, and that is why so many couples get divorced so quickly.
Marriage is the ultimate display of love, and is a decision two people make together when they are both ready to declare that love to the world every day for the rest of their lives. One partner in the relationship should not pressure the other into marriage, or push them to change into someone who they are not.
When you decide to get married, you are marrying the entire person: what you love about them, things they do that make you laugh, things they do that annoy you, and even the things you cannot stand about them. You do this because you know nobody is perfect, but this person is the closest to perfect you will ever find, and you care so deeply about them that the little things that bother you do not outweigh what you love about their heart.
If God were to only love us when we lived how He wanted us to, He would not love us to the extent we know He really does. Harsh, is it not? But this is the truth. The love God shows us transcends every one of our faults, flaws, and shortcomings, and we are all flawed.
God waits for us, and meets us where we are in our relationship with Him. He loves us so much that He is willing to do so, and even sent His Only Son to die for us. If that is not love, I do not know what is. I do know that the “love” we are shown on television does not even compare or come close to the love our Father shows us.
Ladies and Gentlemen, never settle for love because you think the exterior is shiny, or because you want attention. Search for a man or a woman who loves you for everything you are, who gets to know your heart, and who loves the Lord more than anything of this world, and even more than they love you.
I do not know what it means to find this type of love relationship yet, but it is my hope and my prayer that someday I will. When I do find it, I will know that it was a gift from God, and His timing was right, even if it arrived in ways I did not expect.
