After being dumped painfully and publicly by her fiance, former Bachelor Arie Luyendyk Jr., Becca Kufrin is ready to open herself back up and do the damn thing as the new Bachelorette! Like always, I had very little hope going into this season of the Bachelorette. Now, the stakes are even higher following Becca's engagement. This time around, I feel like I need to protect her from the douchebags of the world, which includes the majority of the men featured this season. However, after watching the second episode, I feel like Becca might just find her match after all.

The episode opens up with a bang: the first group date of the season! The lucky men include Clay, Nick, UCF's very own Chris R. (I have yet to see another Chris but I'm rolling with it), David (aka the guy who wore the chicken suit on night one. I didn't even recognize him without the feathers), Lincoln, Jordan, Jean Blanc, and Connor. The men run (literally) to Saddlerock Ranch, where Becca awaits in a suspiciously white gown. She takes them to a room full of tuxedos and they basically perform a free strip show, much to Becca's amusement. I'm not even ten minutes into the episode and I've already decided that my favorite part was Jordan telling Becca that the first thing she should do when she wakes up is put her confidence on. I honestly can't tell whether he's from this planet or not.

After the men are dressed, Becca leads them to an obstacle course hosted by none other then former-Bachelorette Rachel Lindsay and fiance Bryan. First, the men have to drag a ball attached to their ankle. Next, they have to jump into a vat of cold water and set a timer. Then, they have to climb a slope covered with oil and Crisco. After this, they have to crawl in the mud under a net, grab a bouquet of flowers, and place the bouquet in a vase. Finally, they have to use their mouths to find rings that are hidden in four cakes and race to Becca, who's waiting at the altar.

I don't care what anyone says. Lincoln CHEATED. I don't know how, but that man was out of the water tub at least 30 seconds before his opponents. Fortunately, he forgets to put his bouquet in the vase at the end and David catches up! It looks like David is going to win until Lincoln pushes him down and makes it to Becca first. All of the men are frustrated and devastated. When they go back to a room to finish their group date, Becca gives Lincoln a picture of them at the "altar" and Lincoln starts acting like they're already married. He puts the picture on display for the other guys to see, much to their dismay. Connor, in particular, is absolutely livid. He and Lincoln fight over the picture until he decides to chuck it out the window and shatter it. Lincoln starts bawling to Becca and explains he needs a new picture. She's visibly frustrated after talking to Connor; she didn't realize it would get this emotional on the second night.

Next up is the first one-on-one date, which goes to Blake (my frontrunner this season). This is Becca's first one-on-one date since she was engaged to Arie and she's "a little nervous." A limo takes the couple to a "grungy" alleyway, where Chris Harrison stands holding a sledgehammer. Becca and Blake change into appropriate clothing and enter a warehouse full of memories from her relationship with Arie, including the very couch he dumped her on. Also, Lil Jon shows up. The entirety of their date consists of Becca (and Blake) breaking everything in the warehouse and making it rain champagne while Lil Jon commentates. I've seen a lot of weird Bachelor/Bachelorette dates but this one's one of the weirdest.

The couple has a normal dinner where they learn they have so much in common. Both are ready to be vulnerable after experiencing difficult break-ups. Blake seems like such a genuine sweetheart and he's quickly become my favorite of the season. Blake, without question, gets the date rose. He and Becca make out a lot and she can't wipe the grin off her face. If I'm being honest, I can't either. I'm the most bitter person on Earth but it makes me so happy to see Becca so happy.

The following day, Becca has yet another group date. This time, a yellow school bus picks up Leo, Wills, Garrett, John, Ryan, Rickey, Alex, Trent, Chris, and Colton and brings them to a gym, where they meet Becca and three kids. The challenge? Dodgeball, of course. The children turn into ruthless drill sergeants who scream and insult the men while they catch dodgeballs going 100 mph. My favorite line uttered by the kids is "Trash! Do you think Becca wants trash?" Iconic.

Most of the men cower behind Becca. Their logic is the other men wouldn't dare hit the woman whose heart they're vying for. Think again, men. Christon hits Becca with dodgeballs repeatedly, but it seems like she likes it. (I could make ball jokes about this all day.) I didn't think the date could get any better but boy, was I wrong. The real dodgeball tournament is taking place in a trampoline room filled with screaming people. The men are divided up into the pink team and the green team. Leo is the only one standing on the pink team after every round and he seems to be the only person good at it. However, the green team prevails and wins the massive gold trophy. Alex jokes that maybe they should move the trophy out of sight.

Perhaps the most dramatic moment from the group date is after the tournament. Colton tells Becca that he once had a relationship with her friend and former castmate from Arie's season, Tia. We don't know the extent of their relationship, but they did spend a weekend together, according to Colton. He says the timing wasn't right and makes excuses but Becca is disgusted, although she still finds him attractive. (Spoiler alert: he gets a rose so it looks like he won't be going home any time soon).

Now it's time for the pre-rose ceremony cocktail party. Becca makes out and forms connections with a lot of the men. Even Connor gets back in her good graces when he has her throw a framed picture of him out the window like he did Lincoln's. The main event, however, is (you guessed it) Jordan showing a new, different side of himself. A (mostly) naked one. That's right, the male model strips down to his boxers and wears his shirt like a cape to impress Becca and for some reason, she's kind of digging it. The other men (boys???), however, are most certainly not. David, in particular, is quite offended. He addresses Jordan and somehow all I can think of is Jordan making up the word "ingueninity." I really thought Becca would get a group of at least somewhat smart men, but I'm starting to realize that's just not the case.

Becca sits down with Colton yet again and tears up as she realizes she should send him home. We'll just have to wait until to the rose ceremony to find out! Chris R., David, John, Jordan (why?), Jean Blanc, Garrett, Nick, Ryan, Connor, Leo, Jason, Mike, Clay, Christon, Lincoln (why?), and Colton (told you) get roses which means Rickey, Trent, and Alex must part ways with their beloved Becca. Alex sobs for a good twenty seconds and I sob with him because Becca kept Colton around.

I learned a lot about Becca in this episode. She's very no-nonsense and when she sees red flags she sends people home. I was surprised and not so surprised that she kept Colton around, only because it's hard to tell what his intentions are. As of right now, my favorites are Blake and Garrett, but Garrett might just end up on my shit list after being caught in an Instagram scandal last week. I have a lot of hope for Becca and I hope one of these guys turns out to be the one for her (crossing my fingers for Blake!!!!). Here's to eight more weeks of super weird dates and Chris Harrison announcing the final rose of the night!