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15 Very Real Thoughts I Had While Applying To Be On 'The Bachelor'

This is very out of character for me.

Christina Stover

Sep 15, 2019

Bowling Green State University

15 Very Real Thoughts I Had While Applying To Be On 'The Bachelor'

Instagram/@bachelorabc

The other night, I was with my friends watching the newest episode of "Bachelor in Paradise," when I got the idea of applying for "The Bachelor." Now, I had never seen an episode of any of those types of TV shows. It just never interested me, and I would rather use Tinder or Bumble than a nation-wide event to find a date (even though neither app has worked out for me either).

So, with some encouragement from my friends, I filled out the online application. Here were my exact thoughts while I did so...

1. "Why am I doing this?'

2. "I'm definitely not going to be picked."

3. "Do I want to be picked?"

4. "No, this is just for a joke."

5. "Then why am I taking it so seriously?"

6. "Do I really need to include my height and weight?"

7. "This is basically a body contest."

8. "This is stupid."

9. "This will definitely make my autobiography interesting."

10. "For an introvert, I can be really extroverted."

11. "I would much rather fight other girls for a guy than have guys fight for me."

12. "Should my reason for applying be serious or funny?"

13. "Why not both?"

14. "I hope the person that reads my application gets a kick out of this."

15. "This is not the worst idea of my life."

Needless to say, I will not be finishing the rest of the application process, which includes a 10 to 15-minute video of myself and more pictures. Filling out this initial part of the application was quite enough for me.

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15 Very Real Thoughts I Had While Applying To Be On 'The Bachelor'

This is very out of character for me.

In This Article:

1. "Why am I doing this?'

2. "I'm definitely not going to be picked."

3. "Do I want to be picked?"

4. "No, this is just for a joke."

5. "Then why am I taking it so seriously?"

6. "Do I really need to include my height and weight?"

7. "This is basically a body contest."

8. "This is stupid."

9. "This will definitely make my autobiography interesting."

10. "For an introvert, I can be really extroverted."

11. "I would much rather fight other girls for a guy than have guys fight for me."

12. "Should my reason for applying be serious or funny?"

13. "Why not both?"

14. "I hope the person that reads my application gets a kick out of this."

15. "This is not the worst idea of my life."

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All names should be "unisex names."

1. Communicating via email can be awkward.

2. Appointments usually accompany weird looks.

3. Introducing yourself to someone is never without a hitch.

4. You’ve probably thought about changing your name.

5. You’re often asked why you have the name you do.

6. You get excited when you meet someone of your gender with your name.

7. You feel awkward when you meet someone of the opposite gender with your name.

8. You’ve had someone say to you, “I knew a [your name], but they were [your opposite gender].”

9. You’ve heard a bad joke/pick-up line or two about your name before.

10. People are surprised when they see you.

11. You’re extra sensitive to other unique or unisex names.

12. You’ve fought with your parents about it.

13. All things considered, you’re happy your name makes you unique.

You know that all of these things apply to you. You'll just never tell.

I get it... I'm pale.

1. At least I can't lose you in a crowd!

2. Oh my goodness your skin is like glow-in-the-dark.

3. Can't you just get fake tan?

4. Do you tan or just burn?

5. Your kids are going to look like Casper the Friendly Ghost!

6. *holds arm against your arm* Look how much darker I am compared to you!

7. *holds pale arm against another pale arm* Aw, at least you're darker than her!

8. I laid out by the pool almost every day over break!

9. I haven't used sunscreen since I was, like, five.

10. *adjusts selfie lighting to their face* Oops, where'd you go??

11. *after working out* Your face is SO red!

12. *wears white* Look! You're all one color!

13. You need to get some sun.

14. Aren't you excited for summer?

The struggle bus is real.

1. Child prodigies:

2. Hearing other musicians in the practice room next door and accepting that you will never be as talented as them:

3. That anxiety that takes over before every performance:

4. Taking a million 0 credit classes:

5. When there's a paper due the next day, but you have to attend yet another concert in order to pass a 0 credit class:

6. When your friends try to encourage you after a performance, even though you are criticizing everything in your mind:

7. Knowing that there's always that one professor during juries:

8. The oh-so-attractive band/choir uniforms:

9. Realizing that a college campus is maybe not the best atmosphere to finish your latest composition:

10. Hearing "Oh, you sing opera? I LOVE Phantom of the Opera!" for the hundredth time:

11. When people think finals week is a breeze for you.

12. When you're drowning in the stress that comes with 18+ credits (and not to mention all those 0 credit classes) and people ask you how you are:

13. When it all comes down to it, though, you know that at the end of the day, music is your passion:

Because you need it in your life.

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6. holds arm against your arm Look how much darker I am compared to you!

7. holds pale arm against another pale arm Aw, at least you're darker than her!

10. adjusts selfie lighting to their face Oops, where'd you go??

11. after working out Your face is SO red!

12. wears white Look! You're all one color!