It seems we have finally arrived to everyone's favorite time of the year. Bachelor in Paradise!
So this week we see the producers use Chad, yet again, for ratings. They give him deli meats and whiskey on the ride home. Classic.
Yeah, he has an anger problem but it's hard not to feel bad for him as he is kicked off. Lace f***ing sucks.
Leah is back and of course she wanted to go on a date with Chad. Leah sucks too. She flat-out lied about Lauren on Ben's season and ultimately got kicked off because of it.
Leah: "I got really close with the girls in the house, especially Lace and Amanda"
Lace: "Here comes Leah. We don't like each other"
Laughing at the twins doing their "Leah botox" impression. They love to talk shit in the confessionals.
Leah snags the hottest guy left in paradise, Nick. They go on a mediocre date and the producers challenge their connection with a second date offered to Nick.
Nick pulls a savage move and invites AMANDA on the second date.
Leah, being a total weirdo, proceeds to tell Amanda how similar they are. The twins aren't having it.
The make out scene juxtaposed with Leah's sobbing is too much for me. I spit out my wine.
Now can we please discuss the Carly/Evan romance? Carly and Evan kiss and it looks totally creepy. Evan comes out of the kiss far too excited. I'm pretty sure he hasn't kissed anyone in years. His reaction to the kiss and the kiss itself made every viewer in America cringe, Carly included.
Cool, now we get to hear Lace bang while watching crabs bang. Good one producers.
Carly proceeds to hang out with Evan because she wants a rose. Vinny makes out with two girls. He obviously has never had this much attention from multiple women.
Nick to Leah: "tbh I'm not about it"
The Leah/Daniel interaction about onions is terrible. There is zero depth to either of them.
Jubes and Leah are out. I enjoy the Daniel/Sarah romance. Sarah deserves love people!
Josh comes and all hell breaks loose!
Amanda to Nick: "bye dude"
Willing to bet Josh leaves Amanda the second someone hotter comes along. He just wants to piss Nick off.
The Carly/Evan date! You guys, I lost it. Carly on this date is everyone who has ever been on a date with someone that is so creepy you want to throw up.
Carly is a savage: "He gives me erectile dysfunction. He has no swag."
Ok, Carly do you want to date a grown man or Justin Bieber? Yeah, Evan sucks, but saying he has no swag is weird.
Carly breaks up with Evan and Amanda and Josh have made out for 10 straight hours now. I hate when people say "get a room," but seriously, you guys are making people uncomfortable.
Evan is crying. Carly talks a lot of shit. One of the twins is crying because no one will braid her hair. Bach in Paradise is insane.
The twins switch places and whoever this new dude is looks like an idiot.
Who else enjoys the Sarah/Daniel romance? Pick him Sarah!
Has anyone else noticed Evans creepy collection of bracelets?! Evan just stop! Why the bangles?
HE WROTE A LETTER TO HIMSELF I HAVE LOST IT. The wine is on the floor.
Evan Bass! He just called himself Evan Bass! Is that a reference to "Gossip Girl"?! I can't with you Evan! I can't!
He is going to pursue Amanda as she is actively tonguing Josh's face off. She looks up to face him and it seems as though she just came up for air after a 7 day scuba excursion.
So I guess we have to wait until Monday to see Evan cry again.
Side note: Upon finding this tweet, I have just discovered that Bass is Evan's true last name. However, I still believe he probably watches "Gossip Girl" regularly.