"So, like, China?"

"So we were at this party with a bunch of people and my best friend wanted to introduce me to this hot older guy she knew. The party was pretty bumpin' at this point so it was really crowded. She takes me over there to meet him, but then leaves me to fend for myself—rookie mistake. So I continue trying to talk to this guy but the conversation starts getting really dry and then I start to become extremely awkward for no reason. I was super nervous.

Well, next thing you know I'm going full 'sorority rush' mode, and in a panic I ask him out of nowhere, 'what's your major?'He looks at me super confused and slowly says 'business...?' His awkward tone made me even more panicked so I quickly followed up with 'well what do you wanna do with that?' and he literally just sits there and looks at me like I have 10 heads. He was truly weirded out and I LITERALLY WANTED TO DISAPPEAR IN THAT MOMENT.

After a couple seconds of painfully awkward silence he goes 'travel...I guess? Like what do you mean...?' And I awkwardly laughed and said, 'So, like business travel? to like China?'

Facepalm. 'tO LiKe CHiNA?'... nice one airhead.

Sheesh... bringing up the major at a party to curve the awkwardness? Not your best moment! But it's OK, we've seen worse. Hold that head high girl, someone will eventually appreciate your interest in Chinese business travel.

'You left a FAT sh*t in the toilet.'

"After a morning coffee at my boyfriend's apartment, naturally I had to poop. I waited until he left for work, then I raced into the bathroom. Shortly after, I left for class to start my day. A few hours later I got a text from him saying 'GROSS!' I had no idea what he was talking about so I just responded with a few question marks. Then, to my absolute despair and horror, he tells me, 'You left a FAT sh*t in the toilet.' Mortified, I broke into a hysteric laughter mid-class to keep from crying. I mean how do you recover from that? Minutes passed and I finally responded, 'Well it was fun while it lasted but I can never show my face in your apartment again.' He called me once my class ended and said everything was fine, it was just funny and gross. He knew how ashamed I felt so he offered to take me to lunch... to 'Dumps like a Truck,' a local dumpling restaurant (the irony). I'm still not OK."

Wow. I felt that one. Guys figuring out that us girls have bowel movements too is often traumatic. But hey, at least he took you out to eat after! Chivalry is not dead, even though your pride might be. (Kidding, sorry. Too soon.)

"...I face-planted"

"One night we were in Cook Out getting food after a date party, and they called my order number up at the front. There was a really cute group of guys right by the counter ordering as I was getting my food, so I walked away with my Cook Out tray trying to be all cute in my heels and strut to impress them. BUT I SLIPPED and FACE PLANTED on the ground in front of everyone. The entire crowd yelled 'ohhh' like in a movie, and my cookout tray was completely crushed along with my dignity. It was absolutely tragic."

That is quite the tragedy, I must say. But look at the bright side, if that cookout tray wouldn't have broken your fall, you'd probably be dealing with some bruised ribs instead of just your bruised pride. There is always a positive to every negative! I bet you got up and shook it off like a champ; squished burger and all.

"...I told him I'd ask my mom"

"So when I was a senior in high school, this guy stopped me in the hallway and asked if I wanted to hang out with him sometime over the weekend. I was caught off guard and told him I would ask my mom. I WAS A SENIOR."

Come on, that's not too bad! He was probably super into the fact that you were 18 and had to ask your mom. It's kinda cute.

"I walked away..."

"In high school, I met this really cute older guy for the first time. He introduced himself to me and put his hand out to shake mine and I got so nervous that I just turned around and walked away without shaking it. I didn't say anything, I literally just kept walking."

Yikes, talk about a curve.

"He tried to kiss me..."

"One time this guy at the beach tried to kiss me under a stop sign, and as he leaned in I literally got so uncomfortable that I burst out laughing super loud in his face."

Yeah, once you let it slip, there's really no coming back from that. That's tough. But kissing you under a stop sign? Absolutely nothing more romantic than a quick peck under a government-issued piece of metal if you ask me. Truly something for the books.

"...it was my first kiss"

"I was young and it was my first kiss. My boyfriend was two years older than me so I already felt the pressure to impress him and not mess anything up. We had awkwardly texted about finally 'making it happen' when he went to leave after hanging out with me that night. As the time got closer, I got more and more nervous. I walked him outside of my house and hugged him goodbye. He awkwardly waited in my embrace for something to happen and I awkwardly stood there hugging him back for a painful amount of time not really knowing what to do either.

So, he kinda pulled away from the hug and oddly leaned in so I followed. We exchanged the smallest peck imaginable and then I quickly pulled away, totally awkward and embarrassed, and turned around walking super fast toward my front door saying NOTHING. I yelled back to him one thing: 'TEXT ME!' and then ran inside and slammed the door. He stood in the same exact spot for at least five more minutes in my driveway insanely confused on what had just happened. So was I. It was the biggest cringe ever."

A quick peck and run is the best way to do it. Gotta keep em guessing!

"...it was the most awkward movie date ever"

"I went to the movies with this guy and we found our seats just as the movie started. When we sat down, the armrest was already down between us. It stayed down the entire time and he was too awkward to move it during the movie. So instead of lifting it up, he puts his hand underneath the ~already down~ armrest and squishes his arm through the small space to reach my leg (when he could have easily just lifted it and made everything a lot easier and less awkward).

So, I look down to see his hand clenching in a fist, awkwardly resting on my thigh. I think he was trying to place his open hand on my leg, but instead, it was a cold fist. A FIST. No open palm. The fist stayed the ENTIRE movie in the same spot and it never moved. I was so uncomfortable. It was the most awkward movie date ever."

*Insert angry Arthur fist meme* (If you don't know it, go look it up.)

"I farted..."

"So one time, me and my ex-boyfriend were at his apartment watching a movie. Well, anyone that knows me knows I HATE being tickled! I had been holding a fart in because we had recently started dating and I wasn't THAT comfortable yet, I mean come on! So, he started tickling me and I was BEGGING him to stop. Right about that time, I FARTED! I was beyond embarrassed, but he actually thought it was so funny. Still super embarrassing though."

The accidental "farting in front of a guy" is enough to change a girl's life forever. It's truly scarring. Horrifying. Props to standing strong, girl. We salute you.

"It smelled so bad they made a comment..."

"So one time we were staying at this Airbnb with a big group of guys and girls for this concert we were going to. We were all hanging out in the house before we left and I had to poop really bad. Right after I was done, two of the guys walked in right when I had just tried killing the smell with Febreze and they made a comment about it. It smelled so bad that they literally said something and were laughing... I was horrified."

I agree being caught red-handed with the Febreze in full swing isn't the most ideal situation to be in. But the real moral of the story here: Febreze is FAKE. Like, you had one job.

He was bald

"So I had been on a couple dates with this guy and he was super cute and so nice, I really enjoyed being around him. We started hanging out more and more and I noticed that he always had a hat on when we were together. I didn't think much of it until I thought back to the nice dates we'd been on, and even then, he still wore a hat. Me and my friends being the detectives that we are, found old pictures of him on social media one day. You wouldn't believe it... but he was bald. I was shocked. I had no words because I was so caught off guard... this is the last thing that I thought could be possible. The hat had hidden his whole other identity from me for weeks. I felt bamboozled, blindsided, betrayed, hoodwinked. So the next time we hung out I demanded the truth.

We were sitting on the couch and I nonchalantly scooted closer to him. I lightheartedly laughed and said, 'Let me try on your hat!' as I reached for the bill. He quickly (with ninja reflexes!) karate chopped my hand away from his head. I stared back at him in surprise that he had seriously just done that. 'Nah,' he said while trying to play it off cool even though I knew he was freaking out. I quickly reached for the hat again before he could stop me and pulled it off his head and put it onto mine, laughing all cute and innocent like 'Haha, I got it!' and there it was, in full sight. But he didn't laugh at all. He was PISSED that I just exposed his bald head. I wasn't being mean, I just wanted the truth! And the evidence proved true. It was bald as we had suspected. I tried to maintain character as he snatched the hat back off my head angrily and put it on his again as he pointed toward the door.

I got SOOO awkward when I realized he wasn't joking. 'You should go,' he said dead seriously. I waited a second to see if he was gonna laugh and play it off but he didn't so I awkwardly got up and left. We haven't really talked since."

Remember that "Spongebob" episode where King Neptune took off his crown to reveal his shiny bald head and everyone in the Krusty Krab was mesmerized by it? That's how I imagine this to be. Slightly magical, yet full of anger, awkwardness, and overall discomfort. Maybe you were into the baldness, but he'd never know because he kicked you out. Rude! It's OK though, we've all been there. (OK actually, no, none of us have been there. But it's fine. We still feel your awkward pain.)