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'No, I'm Not Engaged,' And 9 Other Answers I'm Bound To Give At Family Christmas

This holiday season I'm most excited to see my dog and eat good food, but many adults in my life are more interested in the minute details of my life. Here are the answers I plan on giving to their festive inquisition.

Lexi Torrence

Dec 04, 2018

University of South Carolina

522

'No, I'm Not Engaged,' And 9 Other Answers I'm Bound To Give At Family Christmas

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Going home for the holidays means spending time with family and friends, and catching up on what you've missed. For college students this can lead to many awkward questions that seem to be repeated over and over. I've prepared some stand answers ahead of time so I won't have to make them up while I'm facing a member of my extended family.

Yes, I have a boyfriend.

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He's pretty great, I picked him out myself. That said, I'm still my own person and I have a lot going on besides him.

No, we're not engaged.

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And no, that won't change anytime soon.

No, I'm not jealous of my high school friend who already has a family.

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I think I can live another decade or two without one.

Yes, I still love my major!

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I'm only paying tens of thousands of dollars a year to study it.

No, I don't have a job lined up for after graduation.

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Do you want to give me one?

No, I don't really drink or go out.

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Nope, never, I swear.

I have started working out!

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I just finished my finals, I barely had time to sleep, let alone go to the gym. The only running I do is run out of time.

I absolutely voted.

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Let's leave it there.

I totally miss being home!

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I have no friends, privacy, or freedom, but it's really great to be back!

Oh yeah, I'm doing great!

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This goes for almost any question thrown at me. Whether a distant family member is asking about my grades or my mental health, a thumbs up and a confident "great!" is the best answer to give.

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'No, I'm Not Engaged,' And 9 Other Answers I'm Bound To Give At Family Christmas

This holiday season I'm most excited to see my dog and eat good food, but many adults in my life are more interested in the minute details of my life. Here are the answers I plan on giving to their festive inquisition.

Yes, I have a boyfriend.

No, we're not engaged.

No, I'm not jealous of my high school friend who already has a family.

Yes, I still love my major!

No, I don't have a job lined up for after graduation.

No, I don't really drink or go out.

I have started working out!

I absolutely voted.

I totally miss being home!

Oh yeah, I'm doing great!

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"I want to thank Google, Wikipedia, and whoever else invented copy and paste. Thank you."

1. I'm so tired. I need a nap. Maybe I can sleep with my eyes open in class? Or pretend I'm not napping?

2. We have a test today? Why didn't anyone tell me? Did I know this?!

3. Can I quit school yet? It's only October, and I need a vacation.

4. The struggle is so real.

5. I'm so broke. SOS.

6. Stressed? Eat everything you own in your pantry and stuff your face with all your feelings.

7. "Did we have anything due in class today? Homework? Quiz? Test?" "Not that I know of..."

8. I need food. Where is the closest place to get food? I need it stat.

9. This is the longest day of my life. I need a drink, or two, or three.

10. Sleep? What is sleep? What a foreign concept.

11. When someone suggests going and studying in the library, let alone studying in general.

12. When the cafeteria or student center is packed and you can't find a seat anywhere so you literally have to sit in an abandoned corner.

13. When you see someone you used to hook up with. They see you, and approach you; so you have to pretend like everything is normal.

14. When you get your exam and realize you didn't study as much as you should have.

15. When you crush it on an exam or paper that you totally bullshitted.

16. I need a grande, extra strong coffee to get me through today.

17. When the professor announces you have a project due the following week with no instruction on what it's on and how to do it.

18. Is it Friday yet? Where's the weekend when you need it most?

19. It's freezing in here. I feel like I'm sitting in an igloo. I should have brought a jacket or worn long pants.

20. Did I remember my book? Damn, I forgot the book, and of course I need it for that quiz in class.

21. I would pay a million dollars to not go to class today; or actually never again.

22. I need a hoverboard to ride to class. Maybe then I wouldn't be running 15 minutes late to class every day.

23. Oh she/he's cute! I wonder if they're single. Who are they texting? They're BF/GF? I wonder if they think I'm cute. Could they be a potential new bae?

24. Why is there never any parking? I pay thousands of dollars a year for one parking spot to be open.

25. When it feels like you've been in class for an hour and you look at your phone and it has only been five minutes (I'm crying on the inside).

26. When the professor asks if there are any more questions at the end of class and someone raises their hand.

27. When you get assigned the most incompetent group of people possible for a group project.

28. I need a comfort dog so I can avoid all life and school responsibilities.

"A Christmas Story" is the star on top of the tree.

Who isn't stressing out over finals right now?

'tis the season to be jolly!

May the odds be ever in your favor.

Phase One: The “I got this” phase

Phase Two: The “I have time” phase

Phase Three: The uncontrollable sobbing phase

Phase Four: The “help me, I've fallen and I can't get up” phase

Phase Five: The rejoicing phase

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