Your first boyfriend. Hearts were racing, recess was coming up, and you had just gotten permission from your parents to start dating. You thought you were going to marry him, but then at the end of the week you were bored and broke up.
I asked a handful of women what their first relationship entailed from the way they were asked out to the way they broke up. Embarrassment and all, these are their stories.
1. All-American Rejected
"My first boyfriend was in the 5th grade. For Valentine's Day, he got me the latest All-American Rejects CD. I got bored and didn't want to date him anymore but I didn't want to initiate it, so I just ignored and avoided him until he eventually broke up with me. It lasted like a month."
2. Sponsored by Monster Energy
"My first boyfriend stuck gum under the chairs in my kitchen and when my family noticed it and realized none of us were dumb enough to do that, my dad confronted him about it and he denied it so hard. He also told me he was an MMA fighter sponsored by Monster but I never once saw a match or heard/saw any proof, but being 14 and in LOVE, I fully supported him. Surprise, surprise: We broke up because he was lying our entire relationship."
3. Less Than 24 Hours
"My first boyfriend lasted less than 24 hours. He asked me out in gym class, I said yes during computer class, then I put a note on his locker that said I was breaking up with him during study hall the same day. I got in trouble with my parents and brother because I didn't break up with him in person, so I officially broke up with him the next morning before class started."
4. The Drop-Off
"My first real boyfriend took me to the re-premiere of "Finding Nemo" because it was my favorite movie at the time. After our parents dropped us off because we were only freshmen, we were the only people there besides a couple of really old people. All of a sudden, he kissed me before we left and it was so awkward. He basically ate my face. Another time, I had said something about how I thought my thighs were fat and he kind of pinched them and said I could work on them."
5. Cheater Cheater
"My boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend. Come to find out, he cheated on me with a guy as well, then told my best friend to let me know that he had come out as gay."
6. I Don't Dance
"I 'dated' this guy in 8th grade and the whole relationship was awkward. We slow danced at a school dance together but he didn't know how, so a friend had to teach him. The extent of our relationship was basically high-fiving in the hall and talking. Then, he dumped me at the next dance by confronting me with this other girl who liked him and they both asked me if it was okay if we were done so they could date instead. While he was breaking up with me, my dad was waiting to pick me up from the dance and decided to get out of the car and wave a flashlight at us to get my attention."
Thank you, first boyfriends, for all of the memories. The heartbreak, handholding, and having your friend break up with us for you because you couldn't do it yourself. Gone but truly never forgotten.
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