During your semester/trimester/quarter you are already struggling to balance classes and grades, friends and hobbies, financial aid and spending. Isn't it strange, hilarious and humiliating what we go through during college? Here's a step back in time for some, and for others, a step back to a few weeks or months ago to the awkward scenarios college students frequently find themselves in. Hopefully you have your ways in which to handle some of these situations, and for the rest of you who always become a deer stuck in the headlights with your zipper undone, looking to your friend for help, take some notes.
1. Seeing someone who's name you can't remember.
If it is someone you'll never see again, don't bother trying to recall their name from that party last week where you two became friends solely because you both had Landsharks. However, if it is someone important— your partner's friend, or your savior in that class you never go to, just take a deep breath and remain calm. Confidence is key. Don't overuse “pal," “friend," “guy,” “buddy," “oh, you” when addressing them. It not only makes you sound Canadian, it reveals to most people eavesdropping that you are entirely clueless to their birth-title. Instead, bring up some stories of people whose names you do remember and that they personally know.
2. Deciding to order something pricey when out to eat with your friends only to check your balance and see it is $8.37.
Just slip that puppy right back into your pocket. Smile, sip some water, laugh at Greg's joke even though it isn't funny. After everyone at the table is done placing their order, excuse yourself to the bathroom. Make the transfer from your savings to checking. If that isn't an option check to see if you have your credit card or enough cash on you. If not, text the one at the table you trust the most to spot you. If you have ran through all of these options and nothing works, walk back to your table and get ready for the performance of a lifetime. Get the attention of your server and pick something, anything, from what you ordered and tell them you were careless and forgot you can't eat that because you are paleo-vegan-pesca-pescatarian-gluten-free and will just have the garden salad.
3. Walking into class and seeing a stack of exams for the test you didn't know was today.
That's the way it feels. After you take
a moment to recover, if your teacher isn't in the room/hasn't seen
you yet, flee! Open up your laptop and craft the most heart-wrenching
email to persuade them to let you take it at another time.
4. Giving a speech/presentation without preparing.
It's hard to be confident when you are bluffing. That is one challenge of performing. I've never imagined anyone in their underwear when I was giving a speech in class and I don't know anyone who does that. But find your underwear-imagining tactic and stick to it. If you are restless, move around, but confidently. Don't sway back and forth, rocking on your heels. Use hand gestures, do something memorable. Refer to powerpoint slides if you have them, and if questions are inevitable, feel free to: deflect, avoid being direct but use grand hand gestures and a loud voice, use vague, small words, plea ignorance on the subject unless the subject is you in which case make everyone know how great and knowledgeable you are, attack any aspect of the character or appearance of the person who asked a question. If it helps, pretend to be the presidential candidate for the Republican party.
5. The Morning After...
The truth is that the most awkward thing we experience happens the morning after when we are brushing our teeth and our reflections mimic a blank stare back at us, watching ourselves relive what we dread. Whether it was throwing up in a friend's bed, telling someone you liked them or revealing a secret while in an inebriated state, crashing a car, failing a class, waking up not in your own bed, waking up not in a bed, waking up outside or breaking something at a party, we hope it never happens again. That morning is so awkward.