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Awkward Black Girl And The Issa Rae Impact

A brief overview of social awkwardness.

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Awkward Black Girl And The Issa Rae Impact
New York Magazine

In September 2011, I was a newly enrolled freshman at a boarding school in Connecticut. I actually feel a little embarrassed telling people I went to a boarding school because a) I feel like they'll assume I'm snobby and b) people usually assume that I had terrorized my parents enough that they had to send me away. Neither are the cases, to be fair.

I chose to go to The Ethel Walker School for girls because the faculty was intelligent, the girls were supportive, and it felt like home during my visit. Once I stepped on the campus, however, it didn't. It wasn't like the school was bad; it truly wasn't. I love that school, and I will never regret attending it. It was just hard for me to adjust initially, considering I hadn't had a great middle school experience. It made me more reserved when I spoke to people. As a result, I felt alone.

During the first couple of weeks at The Ethel Walker School, it seemed like everyone was friends, and I was the last one standing. Don't get me wrong, there were times I attempted to befriend others. I had a few small glimpses of happiness whenever I talked to someone, but then my longtime friend anxiety would creep up and tell me I was undeserving and too awkward and strange to make friends.

I honestly felt so alone most of the time. I wondered if I was weird, and I admit that in some ways I was and still am. I'd dance around my room to Emily Sasson choreography, acting like I'm the next Beyonce (which will never happen) and obsessing over Donald Glover because why not? He's beautiful, funny, and smart. I mean, come on.

Right now, I'm 19 years old and still keep myself actively updated on a show about teenaged dancers and their mothers arguing with each other every day. I dance around in my room like I am auditioning to make the Abby Lee Dance Company Elite Team. I still think Spongebob Squarepants is a classic and watch it, despite my mother's complaints that it's a cartoon and I'm an "adult." I admit, I've always had weird quirks.

But, when I saw Issa Rae's "Awkward Black Girl," everything changed. I had been ashamed of my awkward behavior and tendencies. After all, they are embarrassing. Plus, the way the media portrays Black women as confident, loud, and sassy made me feel guilty that I was the opposite. Why did so many people expect me to have innate rhythm and be hip with all the current dance moves when I can barely dab without looking like Hillary Clinton (see video below if you want your eyes tainted. No respect to Hill, though. I don't want beef).


But seriously, why am I this way? Why is it so hard for me to interact with others like "normal" people. They just do it with ease. They ask each other what music they listen to, find a common interest, and become friends instantly. Why does it take me at least 8 encounters with someone to share information about myself or feel comfortable enough to relax?

I'm such a bizarre person, but so is J in Issa Rae's "Awkward Black Girl." I can't believe how similar we are to each other, like how we both get uncomfortable about greeting people at a long hallway (at which point in the encounter are you allowed to say hi?). When you're dining with a group of acquaintances, do you have to wait until they're served to eat your own food, or can you eat regardless? Is it a crime not to want your food to get cold? Does it make me look selfish if I dig in like Squidward in the patty vault, or will they understand where I'm coming from? I'm sure anyone reading this is thinking, "Wow, this girl is weird" because it's true. I can't deny it, but as an awkward black girl, that's actually what processes in my mind.

When I found Rae's Youtube series, I felt a little better because I wasn't the only person questioning things that most people don't think twice about. I laughed hysterically to Rae's socially awkward quirks and related to her immediately. We shared the same socially awkward tendencies, and for the first time, I related to a character on a deep level. In fact, there are many young black women in the comments who relate to Issa's character as well.

I'll tell you which episode really stuck with me -- "The Dance." That was a classic. When J was invited to her crush's birthday party, everyone was dancing. She was so embarrassed that she didn't even do anything. She just stood there, questioning what she should do. In her mind, she saw herself as the best dancer, but in actuality, she was afraid to implement a basic two-step. J was obviously uncomfortable but still attempted to look as though she was enjoying herself. I cannot count how many times I've done this at parties to make myself look less awkward, which is actually counterproductive because I ultimately look more awkward. Struggles.

Rae's new show, "Insecure," is one of the best shows I've seen in a long time. Any socially awkward person can relate to it, especially those who are awkward black girls or boys. Rae has constantly preached that she is tired of Hollywood's portrayal of the black woman as strong, independent and loud. She never saw any mainstream black character that she could relate to, so she made her own -- "J" and Issa (who I like to view as an extended version of J combined with her own socially awkward personality). It's great. The title does suit the characters well. While Issa is insecure about her finances, relationship, and relations with others, her friend Molly is insecure about never finding love. It's an interesting take on contemporary friendship.

Your discretion may be necessary, as some of the scenes are hilariously inappropriate (it is HBO), but nonetheless, I strongly advise everyone to check out both "Awkward Black Girl" and "Insecure," regardless of race, social skills, or lack thereof.


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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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