Every girl imagines what her first kiss will be like. Okay, well maybe not every girl, but at least I did. I imagined some tall, dark and mysterious man sweeping me off my feet and just planting a wet one on my lips. This kiss would be so amazing that time would stand still and nothing else would matter. His lips would touch mine and the world’s greatest problems would be solved. This kiss would solve hunger and stop wars. This kiss would solve everything that was wrong in the world. But, as usual, nothing is ever as we imagine it to be.

This is not a love story. This is not some amazing tale of the star quarterback who has a sudden epiphany that the girl playing the clarinet in the band section is the love of his life. Although, being in the band in high school, I always secretly wanted that to come true. This, in fact, is what they do not tell you in all the romantic comedies you have seen. Whether it was on the playground or at the skating rink, we all have that really embarrassing story about our first kiss; and, if you don’t, then you are truly #blessed. I guess you could say my story came a little late in my teenage years; nevertheless, it was one of the most awkward moments in my life.

It all started one oddly warm December night. It was Christmas break of my senior year, and my best friend and I were looking to get into trouble. Just kidding, most of our friends were out of town, so we were trying to get people together to go do something fun and exciting. To our demise, we failed at getting a group of people together, but we ended up going over to a mutual friends house to watch a movie. This is where I met Gale. To protect all parties involved, I will refer to the boy who was my first kiss as Gale because Peeta is so overrated!! At the time, I thought it was fate; Gale and I had an instant connection. I remember thinking “finally a normal guy gets me”. He understood all my corny jokes and liked the same music I did; plus, he was super cute. I mean that has got to be true love right? He was tall and built with big blue eyes that would make your heart skip a beat if you saw them in person. I remember thinking to myself “wow he is way too hot for me”. Nothing happened between us that night. We went our separate ways, and I thought that is where our story would end, but to my surprise it did not.

A few nights later, I went to the same guys house for a party; and there was Gale, looking as hot as ever. The stars aligned and we ended up sitting next to each other while we played a card game. We talked the entire night and it was great. He was smart, athletic, and funny. He liked to drink more that I would like in a guy, but we all have our character flaws, right? We did not exchange numbers that night, but he did follow me on Twitter, so that was not too bad for an awkward girl like me. Again, this is where I thought the story would come to an end, but it did not. He messaged me over Twitter and asked for my number. I know. I was just as shocked as you are. Who would have thought Gale wanted to get to know me better? Of course, I gave him my number, and we began texting each other nonstop. It was really fun, and finally, came the big day when he asked me out on a date. I had no idea what to do. (As I said before, I was a late bloomer. I was too concerned about getting good grades to worry about silly boys.) I had no idea what to do. I did not know what to wear, or even how to say yes. And yes, I was already planning out an outfit before I said yes to his offer. Nevertheless, I agreed and we decided that we would go see The Hunger Games at the movie theater.

In most romantic comedies, they depict the sharply dressed guy showing up on the girl’s doorstep to escort her to a nice dinner and a movie, but that is not how it happened to me. Before our date began, I found out how much Gale liked to party when he asked me if I could pick him up. Now I know this is the 21st century and all, but the guy always picks up the girl. It is first date etiquette. To make matters even better, the reason he could not pick me up was because he lost his license after he received a MIP for underage drinking. All I kept thinking was “you sure do know how to pick them Angelica”, but everyone makes mistakes, so I was not going to judge him on one mistake that he made before I even knew him.

Gale and I had fun at the movies. We fought over the armrest until he casually and very smoothly put his arm around me. I liked that. Nothing exciting happened at the movies. I took him home and we jammed to some music in the car before I finally pulled up in his driveway.

This was the big moment. Everything had led up to what was about to happen. We were sitting in his driveway just talking when Gale looked at me and said, “I am just going to do it”. All I could think was “do what? Get out of the car?” That’s when it happened. The most awkward moment of my life occurred after he said this. In those nanoseconds that he kissed me, everything went wrong. In my defense, a girl should be warned before something like this happens. Maybe I am too naïve or inexperienced to realize that he would try to kiss me on our first date, but like I said before, I was a late bloomer, so what did I really know at the time. After he said, “I am just going to do it”, he grabbed my face with both hands and put his lips to mine. In the movies, this act looks so romantic and cute, but speaking from experience, it is not. I did not know if I should pull away or just sit there and do nothing. They do not tell you about all the saliva or how to position your face in the movies. So, I froze. I had never been kissed before, and this was the big moment that everyone talks about? But surprisingly, time did not stand still, hunger was not solved, and honestly I did not feel anything at all besides his wet lips. I freaked out. I was just there with some guys lips pressed against mine, and I did not know what to do. He was so cute and funny and perfect, yet, I kept thinking, “how many girls has he kissed” and “what if he has some kind of STD I do not know about”. Very romantic of me right? How well do you really know someone? The next few minutes are still a blur to me. I guess it was all the adrenaline rushing through my body made me forget what I said exactly. All I know is that I made a complete fool out of myself. I kept apologizing for being a bad kisser, even though I had never had a kiss before, and for being a spaz. I was too embarrassed to tell him that, at the ripe age of seventeen, I had never had a kiss before. So, I said that I wanted to be ‘”just friends”. I did not want to be just friends, but I was so frazzled that I had to get myself out of that situation as quickly as I could and saying that was the easiest way for me.

In the long weeks that followed, Gale and I slowly stopped talking to each other. I think when something like that happens to a boy it really hurts his ego and he is too embarrassed to try with the girl again. There was not any way to try and fix that awful night, so we both moved on. To this day, Gale and I are still friends. I do not think he will ever let me forget how much of a spaz I was that night. Although Gale may not realize this, when he kissed me, my life really did change. This probably sounds dumb, but it made me realize how awesome I am. I was a compliment to me. It was a “hey, you are so cute and funny; I want to kiss you!” That awkward kiss was just a little something that made this band nerd feel special for once. It gave me some confidence that I had been lacking before. Looking back, I would not want to change one thing about that night because I do not think I would be who I am today without that awkward moment! So, here’s to all the other awkward moments that we’ve had, and I’m sure, have yet to have because they impact us all in different ways!