For most of us, avoiding unpleasant situations seems like another version of holding off that inevitable assignment until an hour before its' due date.
So why do we procrastinate over tasks that seem unpleasant but are nonetheless necessary to complete in order to get on with our lives?
Looking back at our procrastination fails and realizing how much extra work we made for ourselves, we end up asking why we didn't just bite off small pieces of the larger task-- like every other piece of advice we hear every week-- in order to get sh** done quickly and efficiently. It's like we're putting ourselves through extra work and that anxiety attack on purpose.
After observing my avoidance reflex in a different context, I've come to realize that each situation might hold a component that triggers individuals to avoid completing the task due to a sense of uncertainty, intimidation, or simply, lack of interest towards the task in question.
Does this mean that it's acceptable to avoid some things based on context? Of course, if we insert the laziness variable into this theory, the situation changes. Now, we have a psychological battle where we know we're capable of fulfilling the requirements of the task, yet we choose not too because it's either not convenient or we are influenced by peer pressure.
But what about the situations that are completely out of our control and have the capacity to change our lives? To connect avoidance with laziness or procrastination in this context doesn't seem fair. After all, we didn't ask for our lives to be ruined, yet the events that are affecting us aren't put upon us by our actions. We are simply caught in the crossfire.
Sometimes, avoiding a situation might be the best solution if done with the intention to preserve a healthy mindset or prevent any future emotional toxicity that might be brewing either from resentment or blame.
For example, if you know you're in a toxic, but an ultimately necessary relationship, sometimes it's best not to pursue interaction with this person knowing each time you meet the result will be an ugly yelling match with the aftermath of deeper resentment and pain. Where's the gain in that?
If you know that the reason why you're avoiding a situation is to give yourself time to grow, reflect, meditate, or cleanse yourself of toxic thoughts that are either tying yourself to or affecting the way you think about this person, know that you're doing the best thing for yourself.
However, if you catch yourself making excuses or trying to avoid someone because you know you have negatively impacted their lives and the act of avoidance is actually one of guilt, you know what to do.
Either way, no matter the reason or context behind the act of avoidance, any situation where you find yourself at a stalemate calls for some form of understanding and evaluation. Your job is, to be honest with yourself and take responsibility for your actions. What you shouldn't do is attempt to take on responsibility for things that are outside your control.
If that means you need to extract yourself from a situation in order to preserve your own sanity, avoidance might be the right solution for you despite the social stigma. Keep in mind that there is no hard fast rule for anything, most decisions are made on a need or context basis.
