The day that I got on social media, was the day that ended any hope of me ever avoiding spoilers for the latest movie, television show, or book. Quite honestly, I would be better off if I just watched the newest season or movie but whatever media I'm trying to avoid spoilers from.
But I'm bad at doing that, I procrastinate and put off, thinking "Maybe I'll see the movie with my friends" and then later see on SnapChat or Facebook, that it's too late because your friends saw it as soon as it came out. So if you're like me and have trouble trying to avoid any hints as to any plotline or possible character death, then you'll probably be able to relate to the following.
1. Closing videos that pertain in any way to a movie that isn't a trailer
Do you know how hard it is to watch a video on Youtube when those mandatory non-skippable ads start to play? And even worse, that you tyrant of a computer knows you've been replaying the same trailer over and over and tries to be helpful by showing you a sneak peek or clip from the said movie. I want no part of it, please and thank you!
2. Having to put a header at the beginning of every conversation
I have been blessed with an amazing group of friends that understand me and are so kind and thoughtful but at the same time, some of these "friends" think it's funny to start loudly talking about the newest season of the TV show that I enjoy and haven't seen yet.
Along with the fact I am not completely opposed to socializing with people in my classes, I tend to start most conversations stating that "No, I haven't seen Infinity Wars yet..." and give a five minute exposition on why it'd be in the best interest of all parties involved in said conversation that no spoilers, hints, peeks, or giveaways are even mentioned.
3. Tactics to avoid spoilers
In my experience, it's just best to shut yourself up in a cave until you have a chance to see the new movie or series for yourself.
Nothing is safe otherwise. Social media is the opposite of a safe space. Wanna go on Facebook? Hope you enjoy seeing status' with reactions of crying or shocked emotes attached to them along with "SPOILER" in big letters 5 lines down if said person is kind enough.
Twitter? Forget about it. Between the actual reactions from actors and directors along with that fact that a good majority of the population deems the release date of a film to be the day that they start screeching about it while many others have not seen it, it's a dangerous place.
And don't even get me started on Tumblr, Reddit or Pinterest. The number of blog posts, fan edits, and discussion over certain scenes that are created is inconceivable. Nothing is sacred there.
4. When you inevitably come across a spoiler anyway...
I honestly don't know what to tell you. Sometimes a burning rage that I never knew of, just bursts from within me and I become a new person capable of destruction.
Other times I will crawl into my nearest pit of despair and stay there for a few days, wondering what I did to deserve such a thing. Honestly, my reactions vary on the circumstances. If I am told a spoiler by someone in real life, I will get ready to physically fight said spoiler person,
before later breaking down into tears at having one more good thing ruined for me.
5. Congrats, you are now are a professional spoiler avoider (put it on your resume)
You are in possession of all of the best tips to sidestep any spoiler scenario that is thrown at you. Follow these tips and you'll be set for life and like me will be able to make it even months before seeing the "best movie/show of all time". You should like a champion, a true survivor.
Now go forth and finally participate in what will probably be over worn out fan theories and age-old debates on the movie and probably annoy the people around me for an even longer time. But hey, at least now you can avoid spoilers for at least for the next month because nothing good is going to be coming out for a while.
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