All of us have heard dozens of roommate horror stories. We hear about the roommates who never clean their dishes, the ones who constantly leave on appliances and the ones who refuse to use headphones, even if it's 3 a.m. The worst roommate stories are the ones that start off with, "We used to be best friends, but now we don't even talk." These stories always scared me, especially when I decided to live with two of my best friends for my sophomore year of college. I could not be happier with my decision, however, and I have learned so much about how to maintain close friendships while peacefully cohabiting.
While you can never predict how your living situation will end up, there are many steps you can take to ensure that you will have a positive experience. Hopefully, you will love your roommates as much as I do. Here are some important tips to keep in mind when considering your rooming situation:
1. Don't pick your roommate(s) too early.
I know some people who picked their roommates for the next school year after only knowing them for a few months. Picking a roommate is a hard decision, and if you choose someone and sign a lease with them several months before you move in, you could find yourself in a bad situation if something happens and you no longer get along with that person. While most apartments offer discounts for signing early (and I encourage you to take advantage of this), make sure that there is next to nothing that could happen between you and your future roommate(s) that would change your minds about living together.
2. Know what bothers your roommate(s).
All of us do things sometimes that get on other people's nerves. Some people are neat freaks, while other people hate to be reminded to do things over and over again. Some people like hosting parties, while other people will want to study every weekend. Make sure that all of you are on the same page, and try to compromise as much as possible. While there are bound to be things you argue over, if you know ahead of time what those things may be, you can avoid a lot of uncomfortable situations.
3. Always keep the lines of communication open.
This is extremely important. If your roommate does something that bothers you, let them know. The worst thing you can do is to let your frustration build up until you begin to resent your roommate. It is much better to put things out in the open, and deal with them as soon as they happen. Make sure, however, that your complaints are valid, and try to cut your roommates some slack. All of our lives are stressful, and sometimes we are not as clean, organized or responsible as we should be.
4. Avoid drama as much as possible.
Do not talk behind your roommate's back, and do not take sides if your roommates are fighting with each other. Handle everything like an adult, and politely confront the roommate you are having a problem with. While you may be best friends with this person, remember that first and foremost, they are your roommate and you have to get along with him/her to some extent.
5. Anticipate problems and try to address them before they blow up.
Did you leave dishes in the sink last night? Apologize before anyone sees them, and let your roommates know that you remember the dishes are there and that you will deal with them ASAP. Being upfront and honest with your roommates is always the best method, and it will definitely help ease any tension.
6. Always make sure you are on the same page as your roommate(s).
When you share an apartment or a dorm room, there are decisions that you will have to make as a group. Some of these decisions include decorations, chore schedules, what temperature to keep the room at and who will be buying what items for the apartment. Before you go ahead and decide to decorate the living room with your taxidermy collection, make sure your roommates are cool with that. Also, make sure everyone is doing their fair share of work, and let your roommates know if you think someone is slacking off.
7. Spend time with each other.
Hopefully, you will be rooming with your best friends, but even if you aren't, try to plan some social events with your roommates. College life can be crazy, and even though you're living together, you may not see your roommates much depending on your schedules. It is important to maintain your friendships with your roommates. After all, being so close is the reason you decided to live with them in the first place!
Hopefully, you will enjoy living with your roommates just as much as I enjoy living with mine. It won't always be perfect, but if you can find people you can live with and still love, then you know that you have great friends. At the same time, try and recognize that some people just cannot live together, and that does not mean that you should stop being friends. Try to make the best out of any situation, and if your rooming situation does end up going horribly wrong...well, you can always write about it on reddit.
