1. My overall expectations

My expectations for what I was going to get out of my fall quarter of freshman year were WAY too high. I mean like Snoop-Dog-on-April-20th high. I had so many visions for my freshman year: I was going to become best friends with my roommate, find lifelong friends during the first week, and fall in love with my school as soon as I got there.

But it didn’t turn out that way. My roommate announced she was transferring two weeks after we had moved in, I didn’t meet anyone the first week that I now see on a regular basis, and I really did not start loving Santa Clara until spring quarter.

So things may not work out like you thought they would—and for me, that was a good thing.

Because my first roommate transferred, I got a new roommate, Hannah, who was a sophomore transfer, and she has been like a big sister to me. I didn’t make my best friends during my first week or even the first month here; I met one of my closest friends just a month ago! Friends don’t have a timeline—you never know when you’re going to meet them.

2. My social media use

At the beginning of the year, when I hadn’t made that many friends, looking on social media was torture. Seeing my friends from high school with their brand new best friends, although I was excited for them, did not help my self-esteem—I felt like I was doing something wrong.

Social media is a platform for people to brag; no one ever posts a picture of them in their dorm room doing homework with the caption, “Didn’t really do anything fun today, just worked on this essay in my room for six hours straight.” In reality, this is what many college days look like.

3. My attachment to my fall quarter friends

I came back from winter break last year and started seeing less and less of some friends who I hung out with every day during fall quarter, and I became discouraged. Many freshmen “attach” to the first people they have a common connection with, whether it be the first day or the first week.

Winter and spring is where people start to identify who they are in college, and where they start finding the friends they have a lot in common with. There are the lucky few who become best friends with their roommate or someone they met the first day of classes, but for many people, that isn’t the case.