You walk in your first day of class and you see that you are the only minority. You hear your professor make remarks that only someone who hasn't grown up as someone like you can make--but they don't know that. You hear your classmates laugh at your professor's remarks. You don't, and you feel alone.
You hear students and classmates making remarks like that of your professor's. You can't say anything, because if you were to "stir things up", the white student always wins. You have grown up knowing that. You have that knot of sadness in your stomach again. Although you feel that knot in your stomach from time and time again, you have never gotten used to it.
It's an off and on switch constantly. You are at home speaking your first language, sharing the same culture. You speak a certain way and act a certain way. You listen to certain music, eat certain food. Then you step foot in your college and feel alone. Everything seems cold and distant. You don't hear the music you listen to at home. They don't serve the kind of food you eat at home. People don't seem to talk about the issues you care about or issues that strongly affect those you care about.
You feel inferior. You speak, and are hardly listened to. The person you speak to only nods, and holds a straight face. Lips pressed together and no eye contact. You know what I'm talking about. For those you are speaking to have never experienced the same.You can tell you make people uncomfortable when you speak about your experiences growing up. And at times, you are simply invisible.
You involuntarily start to become quiet. You involuntarily start to walk with your eyes on the ground. You involuntarily start to stutter when you speak. But at the same time, you feel the need to always be alert. You become irritable because of it. This isn't you. You look at your classmates with shiny, blonde hair. You can see how carefree many are. You wish you could be carefree.
You get asked, where you are from. You answer and they respond, "No. Where are you really from?" You get told, "Wow. You speak English so well!" Even though you just explained that you had to learn English in Kindergarten.
It's being angry or sad about what you feel and being shunned for it.
Being the only person of a different race/ethnicity in a classroom is hard. But the fact is, wherever you may go, you will sometimes, inevitably be the only minority in the room. Take that to your advantage. Stay true to you. And remember, "don't be afraid of being different. Be afraid of being the same as everyone else." And finally, love on others. Always.
