My hometown lost a student recently and for some reason, I'm really struggling with this. I'm not going to pretend to have known this student, but in a small town, connections are everywhere. The Cross Country team was out practicing on an average Tuesday morning when one of the runners was hit by a car on the highway. The runners who were behind her watched as their teammate was taken before their eyes. It was her first week of practice, she was an incoming freshman student and was just starting her Cross Country career. She had so much potential and it vanished in an instant.

From the time I heard of the accident, my stomach was in knots. There is a sense of disbelief that someone so young could have been taken in such a horrible way. I hurt. I hurt for the family, the friends, the teachers and staff, and the entire Shenandoah community. There aren't words to explain how I'm hurting but I'm going to attempt to put words to this feeling.

The accident took place around 7:15 a.m. My mom had just driven through the intersection where the accident took place not even five minutes before the event. I hadn't even gotten up to start my day at that time and before my day began, hers ended. I woke up again today and she didn't. This is really where I struggle. She was just crossing the street and her life ended. She took a chance that she could make it across before the car made it and that chance resulted in this tragedy. For the last few days, I have a hard time crossing streets. It scares me that such an everyday occurrence ended so quickly. Our college campus has a major street that runs through the middle of it. I take the same chance on my way to classes that I'll make it across before the next car comes. That I don't have time to wait for the crosswalk. It makes me think of all of the Grand View students who take this simple chance each and every day.

I can't remember my hometown losing a student for as long as I can remember and it really hits me that one of our own was taken. As an alumni, I feel connected to my high school and a connection with the students. As a potential future teacher, I can't begin to understand what my former teachers are experiencing right now. While I sit here and reflect on a life lost too soon, I think about how fragile life is. This tragedy is a reminder of our own mortality which, to be honest freaks me out. I don't like thinking about death and dying- I even took a class called "God, Death and Transcendence" and I can't bring myself to spend much time reflecting on this topic.

Right now I don't understand. I don't understand why this could happen. I don't understand what those girls who watched as their teammate was killed are going through and I just don't understand why this is hitting me so hard. I have a hard time trying to explain what I'm feeling right now but shock, sadness, empathy and loss are right up there and I can imagine that the entire community feels the same way.

I've read many posts of people attempting to understand this loss and begin to put the pieces together and that makes me happy. I'm glad that people are working on processing this tragedy and I hope that these students are able to move past this tragedy and have a successful school year in honor of their classmate. I hope that everyone who needs to process this has the chance to do so and that there is long term support for those who are going to be struggling for awhile.