Being in a long-term relationship at a young age is not quite common, but not unheard of either. My girlfriend and I just celebrated five years together. She is twenty, and I am twenty-two—we met in high school. That is approximately 25% of her life and just shy of that for me. I have begun to experience how love evolves over time. I want to write this as a tribute to her. I want to write about what I have experienced in love. Love is like an old, dusty book that sits on a pedestal in the darkest corner library with pages that are longer and wider and font smaller than any book you have ever seen. There is more to know about love than can every be learned, let alone taught. I’ve only read the first page and there is so much to know. I only know what I know. Keeping a record of how I feel and what I know is a way to save this snapshot in time for when I am further along my journey so that I can look back on and smile, laugh, and cringe. There is no possible way I can concentrate everything into this post and do it any sort of justice, but if I can convey just a fraction of the magic that fills every one of my days, I will be happy.
The five-year mark is when I have started to realize that some clichés become reality.
I don’t know where I’d be without you. Our lives have become intertwined in a way that has impacted each of us forever. We have become an integral part of one another. I honestly cannot imagine where I would be without her; my life would have been different in so many ways I simply cannot count them. I am happy and proud of the person I have become throughout our relationship and I know that without her, I would not be the same. She gives me the confidence to do the things I am afraid of and the sense not to do the things I should be.
You just know. This one is a two-fold cliché. Language and gut feelings. The language we share changes. Cues become nonchalant, non-verbal, and sometimes non-existent. Telepathic? A flicker of her captivating green eyes can signal so much, like an entire conversation told by just a twitch. Though I can miss the most obvious of social cues, most of the time we are in sync with one another. We have our routines. We have phrases and words that make sense to no one else. We have a connection that is sometimes freaky and I like it. As far as the feeling goes, being with her makes me feel safe and comfortable, happy and loved. There is a certain feeling when contentment meets ecstasy that is like free falling and being totally zen. Meditating in an erupting volcano, there is much power and emotion, yet much comfort. That is the feeling.
The only one. I don’t know that I believe that there is “the one.” Maybe it is more like there are different types of people in the world and some types fit better together. Maybe. I don’t know. I do know that if five years and a few days ago, someone asked me to describe the perfect person to with whom to adventure through my life, she would be better than that imaginary person in every way possible. She is better than anything I could have dreamed. Her eyes have always been the sort to draw ships in from sea. They are mesmerizing and warm and halting.
More than anything, I am thankful. I am thankful for her. I am thankful for her laughter that fills me with yellow and pink and goodness. I am thankful for her ambition and support, with her help, my crazy dreams are indulged and together we will go chasing them down together. After going on the adventures that we have taken thus far, I know that no matter what, I can count on her. I don’t care if our dreams fail. I don’t care where we are or where we end up or why we’re there; as long as I have her, I will be happy. I am thankful that she is supportive and strong even if I wrap myself up in more than I can handle. I am thankful that she loves me for who I am. I am thankful that we are strikingly similar but so different and collaborate so well together.
I am excited. I am excited for the adventures that are ahead of us. I am excited watching you care for you nephew; she is so gentle and loving and caring and kind. I am excited to wake up every day because I know that it will be another day with her by my side. I am excited to tell people about you and to introduce you to people because your radiance improves the lives of people that you touch.
Clichés, as I said, begin to become reality. But, if you think about it, that’s probably the reason that they are repeated over and over and over and over and become known as “cliché.” They’re true. I think that finding deep, fun, eccentric love at any age is a gift. I do not think I am missing out on anything. If anything, we are getting a head start.
As I begin to wrap up, I do not really know if this piece is anything that I meant it to be. I guess it’s just sort of a free write on what I feel. I just want to finish this up so instead of sitting near her typing this, I can be engaged with her. Occasionally I'll look over at her and smile, and she'll smile back not knowing what I am writing about. Love is pretty cool.
