I am that girl. I always speak up in class, I have too many responsibilities and if anyone says something ignorant or offensive, you can bet the bank that I'll be jumping in. I don't shy away from a challenge. All my life, I've had judges comment on my scorecards in debate, "Don't be so mean," when I was simply stating fact and working to be efficient. I've had men in grocery stores tell me to smile when I wasn't even in a bad mood (until they said that). I've had men and other women tell me that women need to be nicer to people to get what they want. I am here to tell you that assertive women, go-getter women, efficient and affective women aren't bitches. We want, what other men with similar personalities want: success.
It's no secret that there is a double standard in society. While America is a place of opportunity (thanks largely to legislation like Affirmative Action) we still, however, live in a patriarchal society. While I have a high GPA and aspirations to go to law school, a lot of people look at me, and other women, like we should be pretty and polite all the time. When we're in situations with men, we're supposed to act differently: be flirtatious, be less intelligent and keep conflicting opinions to ourselves. However, doing so is an excellent way to remain stagnant in a workplace, to ensure that your group project won't be the best it could be or to lose that debate.
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You shouldn't be taken aback by a woman who approaches you like a man would -- with no intent to flirt with or appease you. She's not a bitch for not showing interest; she's your colleague.
You shouldn't be judgmental of the girl in your class who wears a suit and heels because she's in student government or is on honor court. She's confident in her suit, and is rocking it. She's not a bitch for looking great; she's dressing for success
You shouldn't be hate talking to a woman that challenges what you say, even when you're talking about things like politics and sports. Chances are that if she's telling you you're not exactly right, she knows what she's talking about. She's not a bitch for disagreeing with you; she has opinions too.
You shouldn't disapprove of the woman who never wears make up and never paints her nails. She doesn't care about her appearance, but she's kicking butt on every council, board and committee she's a part of. She's not a bitch for not caring what you think of her; she's not conforming to society's beauty standards.
You shouldn't laugh at the woman who freaks out over an A- when you're happy with a C. She's not a bitch for wanting a better grade; she wants to succeed.
All in all, women have a pretty hard time being liked when they are assertive and focused on success. When resting bitch face is thrown into the mix -- mostly because we assertive women have places to go and people to see -- most people just think we're mean. We're not. Get to know that assertive woman outside of class or work, she's probably a pretty awesome person.
