Here’s what I have learned about living with anxiety, it comes out of nowhere and somehow I’m expected to deal with it WITHOUT bringing attention to myself. So what exactly puts me in a state of anxiety borderline depression? The past. The fact that I am always thinking about the past and all the wrong-doings. Not thinking about the past is easier said than done but when you have people reminding you it’s hard not to think about it. How do I deal with it? There are number of ways and none have worked but maybe they’ll work for someone who is going through anxiety.

The number one thing that *sometimes* helps is not being alone and talking to someone you trust. My only issue with this is that I feel like I am making it all about me (as someone who has suffered with this for years, I can assure you that is a thought only the person dealing with anxiety feels. A TRUE friend won’t make you feel like this). Talking helps and if you have to dwell on it then so be it. Eventually, when it doesn’t hurt you anymore, you’ll move on.

I have also learned that focusing solely on something else also helps. Focus on a hobby that brings you peace. For me it’s reading and writing. I am not going to lie and say that they ALWAYS work because it doesn’t and that’s when I have to find something else that works. Lately I have noticed that listening to something right before I go to sleep soothes me. Music, podcasts and the sound of something. What is that something?

Welcome to the world of ASMR. A feat I recently found thanks to YouTube. According to Urban Dictionary, ASMR is Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response. A physical sensation characterized by a pleasurable tingling that typically begins in the head and scalp, and often moves down the spine and through the limbs. My anxiety comes in a lot of different forms but one that is dominant in is my lack of sleep. My thoughts kick full-force when I am trying to get some rest and it’s the most annoying thing.

I found out about ASMR after searching for rain sounds on YouTube. From there I went on a rapid search for anything that would give me a bit of tranquility. My favorite video is Intoxicating Sounds by Gentle Whispering. It’s 31 minutes of soft speaking, “intoxicating and hypnotic sounds”. Think of it this way. When you are physically tired but mentally you have a lot going on sometimes listening to something soothing can do the trick to put you in a slumber. I am not saying it’ll always work but it’s a possibility.

There’s a whole world of ASMR out there. People make a career out of this. Imagine getting paid to talk softly and to play around with sound? They need an amazing sound system and an even more amazing microphone to get those sounds to transmit to video.

Getting anxiety as often as I do has come in the way of me wanting to leave my house on the weekends. I am not scared to leave my house I just don’t have the motivation to do so. STAYING home sounds more appealing plus I am always tired because of how little sleep I get. I am trying to take a more natural approach to sleeping then having to rely on natural sleeping pills. It gives me a sense of tranquility.

My favorite part has got to be the whispering aspect of it. It's so tranquil.

As I learn more about ASMR I will be sure to DOCUMENT my process on social media. Maybe I can even get doctors and people who have tried it to give their input on it.

Do you have any other recommendations to getting some rest that is not pills or hypnotic sounds? Leave them in a comment below or reach me through twitter at paminthecity.