Many of us are always offering our help to other people. When someone is going through a rough time, we say how we're here if they need someone to talk to or we ask what we can do. When it comes to ourselves, however, we struggle to ask for help. It turns it into this constant cycle of people offering help if needed, but never ever actually asking for it. In turn, no one ever actually gets help with what they need.
Usually, the main reason people don't ask for help is that they think it makes them weak. You don't want to ask for help because it's admitted that you can't do anything. It makes you feel vulnerable because then you lose control over the situation. You're putting your trust into someone else's hands. Then there's also the worry about being annoying or a burden to someone. We may need the help, but that need gets shut down with all of our worries.
Asking for help is probably one of the hardest life skills to practice.
I find that one of the tricks is to cancel out the negatives with the positives. You know that when you offer to help you don't expect something in return, so most likely the person you ask won't either. You worry about being a burden or annoying to people when people do actually want to help. There is happiness in giving and receiving.
Yes, you are putting your trust into someone else's hands, but it will strengthen your trust between you and your supporter. You most likely already have a safe person in your life that you tell almost everything to. Don't be afraid to open up a little more to them. If you can't open up, they shouldn't be in your life.
You may feel jealous about the people around you who may be really good at the thing you need help with, but they're the ones who would love to help you. I've always loved writing, and I know I'm good at it. I love when people ask me to edit something for them or help them word something the right way. It gives me a chance to feel special and to shine.
I love to share my knowledge with others. My sister is really good at art. I, however, am not. I like when I ask for help, though, because she gets excited and she takes the time to really teach me and ask me questions about what I'm thinking. People want to help others, especially with things that they're good at.
When you ask for help, you're admitting that you're human. No one is perfect. We all have room to grow and learn.
There's a stigma around using medication to improve your mental health. It's hard enough to ask for help with smaller things, it's an entirely different kind of struggle to ask for help mentally.
Asking for help was probably the best decision I could've made. I didn't want to believe something was wrong with me, I didn't want to admit that I needed someone to talk to, but I did. My counselor has become a very important person in my life. She has believed in me and pushed me and fought with me. It took some time to find her. I went through a couple of other counselors throughout the years, but when you find that perfect fit, it makes it all worth it.
Counselors are a set of those people I said want to help. Their chance to shine is in helping you. They aren't someone who sits there with a notebook and nods along. They listen, they care, they worry and they are your biggest fan.
We all need support sometimes, some more than others, but no matter how much or how often you need the support it's OK to ask for it.
Taking things one step further, we enter the medication area of support. I struggled with this for a long time. How crazy was I that I needed pills to help me? However, it was the best decision I could've made for myself. It's what keeps me functioning and lets me live my life. It was scary at first in a lot of ways.
There was and still is a battle between medicated and unmedicated me. I even wrote a letter to each side so showcase this. I called medicated me the crazy one but told unmedicated me that they're going to ruin our life. It sounds a tad crazy I know, but it makes more sense once you take the time to actually understand the effects of medication on your mental health. I've even opened up about the fight I have inside of myself that has led to me needed help through both a counselor and medication.
When it comes down to it, asking for help is what makes you strong. It's hard to do and takes a lot of work, but it's worth every last bit of it.
