I’m not supposed to have my life figured out right now. I am 21 years old, and have been for only less than two months. Whenever I talk about being a senior in college, the person I am talking to asks me what my plan is. Where do I see myself in 10 years? What is my degree going to allow me to do? How do I not know and have a plan yet? I will tell you how I do not have a plan yet. I am sill young. I do not have a diploma in my hand, a permanent address, a boyfriend or husband, or even a car that will last me for a while without needing repairs. My bank account has less than a five digit number in it, and my apartment is costing me just about all of my income. I have so many more things to worry about right now than my life in 10 years.
Some people know. Some kids grow up and end up doing exactly what they had planned since they were little. They grow up dressing as a doctor for playtime and Halloween every year, and end up with a white coat on every day for the next 35 years. I am not that person, and in reality neither are most people. My views are supposed to change. Do you always want to think of things the same way as you did when you were five? If I did, I would still think gas was a total of whatever was on the big signs, not that price per gallon. I would still view country music as stupid, and think that I could own a pet dolphin in my backyard. I have grown up since then (luckily). I now have a view that has been shaped by my education. I have been socialized to make my own decisions and have my own world views and political views. This however, does not mean I have my life figured out.
As a 21-year-old, educated woman, I am still figuring everything out. In all honesty, at this point in my life, my practical life experience is lacking. I have 16 years of education under my belt but only three summers of real life experience on my own. I still struggle with real things in life. At my age, I have never paid a mortgage, bought a house, worried about property taxes, and thanks to Berea College, I have never taken out a loan. I don’t even know how to talk about these things. How am I supposed to know where I will be living and what I will be doing in 10 years?
Right now I am immature. Some of the biggest concerns for me are what bar I am going to go to on Friday, or when my big paper is due for my class. I make mistakes. I screw up important decisions in my life. I still call my mom for help. I am immature, and not afraid to admit that I still need to grow up.
As a 21-year-old, this question is one of the most dreaded things I face in conversation. I can think on my feet and come up with an answer, but its never consistent. I guess that’s just how it will be, too, until I have experience and graduate with a degree and start receiving job offers. These things will drive that decision, but until then, I have no idea what I am doing, so please, don’t keep asking, I really have no idea.
