Have you ever had that awkward moment on a date when the bill comes and you both stare at it? As a girl, I feel like it's kind of expected for the guy to pay. But also, I'm an independent woman in 2019 and I have enough money in my bank account to pay for it too. So, what is the preferred method for splitting the bill? Should the guy pay? Should I pay? Should we split it down the middle? Here's what 23 college girls had to say about it!
1. "I would always offer to split the bill on the first date. I just feel like it's the courteous thing to do. If they insist on paying though, I would let them." - Age 21
2. " I feel like it's nice for the guy to do it, but also the girl should offer if he doesn't offer to cover it right away." - Age 19
3. "Honestly, I'm down. I just feel like it needs to be discussed beforehand. Like, sometimes I don't bring my purse in. So, I would just like a warning prior to. Otherwise, I don't care. I work and make my own money. I can split a bill." - Age 22
4. "I think on a first date it is a good impression if the guy pays for my meal. It's definitely not expected, like I will be willing to pay for it if he doesn't offer. But, if a guy were to pay for my meal, I think it shows that he is invested and is wanting to serve me and show me that he cares about this date. If he didn't though, I would still be fine with it. I understand every guy out there isn't rolling in money and pay for both meals every time he goes on dates." - Age 20Â
5. "I feel like it's most polite to go into a first date assuming you'll split the bill, but if you get there and the guy offers to pay, you should let him. I don't think it's rude to split the bill though, especially on the first date." - Age 21
6. "Honestly, I'm pretty traditional and I think the guy should pay if he is financially able. I think it is chivalrous and is a mark of being in a place that shows the marriage could be on the table in a financial stability point of view. All that being said, we're all super poor in college and sometimes paying for both just can't happen and I get that too." - Age 19
7. "I'm fine with splitting the bill. I don't see why the guy always needs to pay, especially if the girl has a job and can afford whatever she needs to." - Age 18
8. "Should the guy even be taking you on a first date without the expectation of paying the full bill? I know it's just a first date, not marriage, but every little detail counts and as girls examining guys, we look at every little detail, especially on the first date. So, I think it could go either way, but I would say don't be surprised if every bill after that is split." - Age 19
9. "Splitting the bill on the first date is a good way to set the precedent that you don't expect him (or her) to pay every time. It shows a willingness to compromise which is important for any relationship." - Age 19
10. "Personally, I like the chivalry of someone paying on the first date. It's not about the free meal though, it's just about the "gentleman-ness." Also, this settles that awkward moment when the bill comes and we both stare at each other. However, if we were to split the bill on date one, that wouldn't be huge, huge red flag." - Age 22
11. "I feel like it kind of depends on how much the two know each other, who initiates, and how strong they are pursuing the other person. In general though, I think that splitting the bill or getting coffee and just buying your own is totally fine. I personally would prefer it to be that way because then I don't feel like I owe that person anything and I'm not committing myself to anything and making that super clear... I feel like if you're already super close friends though and then the one asks the other on an official date and it's clearly not just hanging out, that's more appropriate for whoever asked for the date to pay for it." - Age 19
12. "Personally, I always offer money to pay. But, if they asked me to go out then, I think the right is for them to pay, not to split it. So no, I don't think it should be split if they officially asked you. But if it was like, "Yeah, let's hangout," and you both agree, nothing official, then it should be okay to split it and you should offer money." - Age 20Â
13. "I'm all about splitting the bills with your boyfriend and not leaving everything on him, but I think on the first date the guy should pay the full bill. I just think it gives you a sense of security that I feel like a girl needs in a relationship. If the girl asked the guy on a date, I would understand if she paid for it, but I would definitely expect the guy to offer, I guess. And, it also makes the guy look more mature... at least that's what I think! But, I definitely believe that in a relationship, both should be able to help each other financially and not let the guy pay for everything." - Age 20Â
14. "Normal standards of the guy always paying can be nice when you're broke but also makes you feel 'less than' or that you are obligated to do things for them. They don't necessarily have to be sexual but, going on second dates when you aren't really interested." - Age 19
15. "I think at our age that we are at now, we should not expect the guy to pay for everything. Like, I know it's a classic thing to do but, we are in college and it's not fair for women to expect the man to pay when they can probably barely feed themselves because we're broke. There is nothing demeaning or anything about it." - Age 21
16. "I think it's totally cool to make the offer. I know some people believe that if a guy asks you out, they're expected to cover it. But, I think it never hurts to offer to split it after y'all are done. From my experience, my boyfriend always wants to pay for everything and he loves it and does it in a way where I don't feel guilty. But, every guy is in a different place financially when you go out, so there's nothing wrong with making the offer." - Age 19
17. "I think it's totally fine to split the bill! I've been out with some guys who find it offensive if you try to pay so I usually say, "Let's split it," and they say, "No, I got it," I don't push." - Age 21
18. "I do not think that a girl should have to split the bill on the first date. The guy should man up and pay for it. Especially on the first date." - Age 21
19. "I think I'm okay with splitting it if we are in college... but, I kind of grew up being taught that the man is supposed to pay for a date because that's just how I've been taught. As a woman, I've always held myself to a standard and I think if a man wants to take me out on a date, then he should be ready and prepared for whatever that entails. I remember watching "This Is Us" and seeing how the main character had saved up for weeks to take his future wife out on a date and I really think that that just shows the dedication and commitment he had to taking her out. It's hard because of the world we live in is so different than the world our parents grew up in. So, really anything goes, I think it just depends on the person." - Age 21
20. "For me, on a first date, I'd rather the guy pay. I'm just old fashioned. I'd still offer though because I feel awkward having someone pay for me. But, for the most part, I like it when a guy pays." - Age 21
21. "I think the boy should definitely pay for it on the first date, like I feel like it shows that they care about you and putting effort into the relationship." - Age 18
22. "I think it's totally okay to split the bill on the first date and it's honestly more comfortable for me personally. I don't expect a guy to pay for me especially on a first date because I feel secure and independent on my own." - Age 19Â
23. "I wouldn't mind. I think my initial reaction would be a little shocked if I paid because I'm used to the idea of the guy paying, but at the end of the day, it's all good. But, I probably would appreciate the food more if he paid." - Age 21
Basically, most girls prefer if the man takes the initiative. Some girls will still offer to pay for their own or split the check, but it just makes us feel appreciated if you take it this time. We know that as a college student, we are all running low on cash. So, if you can't afford it, take us somewhere free or just wait until you get paid! We will understand, but don't keep us guessing. It's awkward and uncomfortable and maybe a bad ending to your good date.
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