As a lover of life, it is important to establish why reflecting on regret is beneficial for the mind and soul. Part of becoming a happy, fulfilled person is accepting both your past and how it changed you into the person you are now. True self-acceptance shows in the moment you realize peace cannot co-exist with war.
Happiness can only exist in acceptance.
I asked 10 people what their biggest regret in life is and how it has affected them.
Disclaimer: names left out for privacy reasons.
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1.
"There was a time in my life where I stopped taking care of myself and giving myself insulin and I basically tried to die; because I couldn't do it anymore."
2.
"Taking the good things in life for granted. Because even though we're still super young and it seems like life's gonna go on forever, people can go away at any time."
3.
"My parents and I did not get along through my first years of high school, and not having a relationship with them is my biggest regret."
4.
"Not treating others with kindness. I went through a long period of my life where I was just unhappy with my environment and conditions and who I was as a person. I would expel all of these negative feelings onto other people by being rude and snappy, and it pushed people away from me. I realized that it was not a constructive way to handle things and that being uplifting, kind, and positive was better. That was the turning point in who I am and what made me into the person I am today."
5.
"Not working hard enough throughout the summer for my sports tryouts, and then not making the team."
6.
"Being so careless with other people's feelings and emotions, and not caring about how my actions would change their lives and relationships with others. If I could just start the year over I would."
7.
"Falling for someone that will never picture the love that I picture for us, and never having the strength to admit it to anyone except for myself."
8.
"Having a relationship in high school because it took too much time away from my real friends and the people who were important to me."
9.
"Lying to myself about why I was happy. I would convince myself that I was happy for the right reason, and then later learn that I was making everything seem like I wanted it to be. I was in a relationship for four months and I always told myself I was happy. As you can imagine, it was the attention I craved. I wanted nothing to do with him."
10.
"Not working as hard as I do now, earlier in life. I realized that I have to work for the things I want."
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Regret is undoubtedly a unique experience for everyone. Different moments, different memories, and different people can spark an image in your mind that can haunt you forever. It is important to reflect and be honest with yourself in order to overcome personal tragedies and grow into the person you desire.
I try to look at my personal regrets as something beautiful. Something that will shape me into a better version of who I am, and not ruin my self image of who I am. It hurts to let go of regret, but sometimes it hurts even more to hold on.
Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be.
